The Cherry Tree

One afternoon, a close friend of mine came up to me excitedly:“Julia, don't you know that there's a cherry tree in our school? ”

“A cherry tree? Really? Where? ”

Cherry trees were so scarce that I had only seen them in the film“Romantic Cherry”.

“In Xi Garden.Hurry! Let's go and see it! ”

I dropped my book and followed my friend out of the classroom.

As soon as I stepped into Xi Garden, I began seeking the precious“pink”eagerly.And ho, there it was! In the distance, several pink“clouds”were floating above a small pavilion.That was it! My cherry tree！

We quickened our steps.Little by little, the gossamer-like pink“clouds”grew bigger and bigger and at last seemed to occupy the blue sky when we were just standing under the cherry, on a small slope.Beneath my feet, the soil was covered by fallen petals.What a wonderful experience! Stretching my arms widely, I felt as if flying in the air weightlessly in the world of pink.

When a gentle breeze passed by, hundreds of petals parachuted down.They danced and whirled beautifully in the air and blurred my vision.The petals were so light that it took them some time to fall down onto the ground or into the pool.

The petals lying on the ground joined their brothers and sisters to extend a pink carpet while those floating on the water were setting out on a mysterious journey.

“I surely will be sorry when all of the petals have fallen down.”My friend said woefully.

“No.Although they have left their home and have been separated from each other, they are still happy and composed and try to do their best where God place them.”I said to myself, firmly and hopefully.

简评

本文描写了樱桃树开花的美景和作者喜悦的心情。呈现在作者眼前的是一个粉红色的世界：头顶上漂浮着粉红色的“云彩”，脚下粉红色的花瓣覆盖着大地。作者对花瓣飘落的描写非常精彩：hundreds of petals parachuted down; They danced and whirled beautifully in the air，使读者仿佛身临其境。在作者笔下，这些花瓣都有了生命的灵气：落在地上的花瓣合力展开一块粉色的地毯，而落在水中的花瓣开始了它们的神秘之旅。

最后一段点明了作者对落花纷纷的理解：不管身处何地，都要力求做的最好。这一理解非常富有哲理，令人不禁想起了“落花不是无情物，化作春泥更护花”的诗句。

（点评教师：黄莺）

姓名：梁莹

学号：0272090

The Moon

The world is enveloped in moonlight.A poetic feeling arises and softness pervades the atmosphere.At this time, a breeze often accompanies the silvery light of the moon and gives the world a peculiar appearance and the people a peculiar feeling.The air is suffused with a sweet scent, driving away the ugliness and squalor of the daytime, soothing the distressed and wretched souls.If you sing a song, your voice will reach the clouds.If you read a poem, it will echo in the mountains and valleys far away.If you hum a lullaby, its rhythm will send the whole sleepless city to dreams.

简评

本文描写了月光下的都市沉浸在一片安宁与恬静中。不再有眩目的阳光，一阵清风伴随着银色的月光，空气中弥漫着丝丝芳香。月光驱散了白天的一切丑陋和肮脏，抚慰着痛苦和不幸的人们。最后三个句子结构并列，意义递进，以唱歌或吟诗作比，表现出月夜的宁静。

本文侧重于对感觉的描写，包括具体的和抽象的，充满了想像力。读来像一首优美的诗歌，在写景的同时表达了作者对社会现实的思考，对安宁生活的向往。

（点评教师：黄莺）

姓名：张健

学号：99 1 905 1

Our Changjiang River

We call the Yellow River our“Mother River”and we also see the Changjiang River as our“Father River”since these two rivers are the source of the civilization of Chinese people.Our remote ancestors lived along the river, so both rivers have witnessed the growth of Chinese people and they are our valuable heritage.

My childhood is closely associated with the Changjiang River.When I was young, my father often took me to the riverside. I was always struck by the beautiful scenery of the river.The water was pure, clean and blue.Some birds flew down, scraped the water and roared up suddenly and some grass floated in the water quietly.Looking into the distance, I saw the river wandering toward the east.However, after the thunderstorm, the water was turbulent with some whirls in the middle of the river. The fresh breeze gave my face a feeling of moisture.Even today I still remember the magnificent scene and the impressive feeling.

Some unpleasant changes have taken place since then.Many hills alongside the river have become bald.More and more mud and dust are being washed down into the river each year.Worse still, driven by economic profits, some factories keep pouring pollutants into the river.

Luckily people have been awakened to their obligation. They learn a lesson from the big flood in 1998 that we have to nourish our Changjiang River just as it has nourished us and protect it just as it has protected us.Only after a harmonious relationship has been established between men and the river can we prevent the tragedy happening again and restore beauty to our Changjiang River.

简评

本文中，作者描写了童年所见的长江上的美景，表达了作者对生态破坏，环境污染问题的关注。文章一开始，作者就把长江与黄河做了一个类比，把长江称为“父亲河”。作者的童年在长江边度过，因此第二段中描写了当时未受污染的长江上的景色：蓝色的长江水纯净、清澈，可以看见其中的水草，一些鸟在江面上来回飞舞；远处，长江水静静向东流，而暴风雨后，江水湍流，激起几个旋涡，清新的微风吹在脸上，感到微微湿润。然而，好景不长，渐渐地，江边的山秃了，大量的尘土冲入江中。更糟糕的是，周围的工厂向江中倾倒污染物。最后，作者引用了1998年发生的洪灾，提醒人们要饮水思源，保护环境，防止悲剧再次发生。

本文不是单纯地写景，而是通过描写长江昔日的美景，提出一个深刻的问题，呼吁人们增强环保意识，提升了文章的立意。在语言上，作者把写景与说理自然地融合起来，展示了良好的写作功底。

稍嫌不足之处是由于二、三两段之间意义上有一个明显的转折，第三段段首应该加上衔接词however，否则显得过于突然。

（点评教师：黄莺）

姓名：徐海量

学号：02 1 3003

Alone in the Dark

It is midnight, time for people to go to bed.But for some of the city inhabitants, it is just the beginning of a new day.

I am walking slowly along one of the busiest streets of the urban area.Everything seems quite different from it was during the day time.The buildings, the statues, the river, the trees, the street lights, the rusty pipes, the empty bottles, all seem to be refilled with energy.A gust of wind passes by, leaving a line of pine trees whispering to each other:“Our time is short! ”“I'm awake, I'm awake...”Just like what always happens in a fairy tale.

“Nature is restless.”I walk alone, but never feel lonely, for there are always buildings, street lights accompanying me.Quiet and polite, they are like some well-trained servants.Being the only human being in this elf world, I suddenly have the feeling in my heart that the whole city belongs temporarily to me, which really gave me a lot of excitement.

“The music stops as if to answer an empty knock at the door....”This beautiful scene reminds me of the poem written on the wall of the Blue Casket.This night, dark, cold but restless, is just like the heart of a human being.

简评

阅读本文很容易让人联想到朱自清先生著名的“荷塘月色”。夜深人静，忙碌了一天的人们都上床睡觉了，甚至连动物们都终止了一天的活动。然而，“我”眼中的城市才刚刚苏醒，眼前的一切跟白天相比大相径庭，到处充满生机，一片欣欣向荣的景象。这城市现在只属于我一个人，我高兴，我快乐，我心满意足。但接下来呢？让人意犹未尽。后面与其说留下的是悬念、是联想，不如说是缺憾，因为好像写出的太少太少，未写的太多太多。所以这篇文章让人感觉不甚完整。

（点评教师：陈硕）

姓名：朱海阳

学号：02 1 5085