第2章 幸福像阳光一样
The Direction of Happiness
A young man was walking by the lakeside when he suddenly saw a piece of gold glittering in the water. He was so happy that he jumped into the water to fsh for it.But he couldn't reach it on matter how he tried his best.Being wet,dirty and tired,he had to disembark for a rest.Unexpectedly,after the water became placid,the gold appeared again.
He jumped into the water again unwillingly,but in vain,so he had to disembark again to sit beside the lake. He thought，“Where is the gold coin in the water on earth?I have seen it clearly,why can't I fnd it even though I have tried so hard?”After the water became placid,the gold coin appeared once again.So once again he jumped into the water to fsh for it.He did it again and again,but in vain,which made him really unwilling to accept.
At that moment,his father came to look for him. Seeing his son wet and dirty,he asked，“What happened in the world?Why are you so embarrassed?”
His son answered，“I see a piece of gold coin in the water clearly,but I can't get it anyway！”
His father saw a gold coin seemed on the placid water,so he looked up at the tree and said to his son，“Look！It's not a gold coin but the refection of the sheet metal that is hung on the tree.”
Ordinary people are always busy running about honorary and illusory things while all these just consist in greed,which eclipses our ability of telling right from wrong. Some people think life is hard and we must fnd a way of releasing at once！So they turn to seek for religious belief；but if religious belief has no right understanding,suggestions or ideas,you will go astray.So we should choose the right direction of life,get rid of evil and cultivating good and comprehend truth.
Worldly substance is illusory like the refection of the water,so we should often have a contented mind and can understand,tolerate and thank everything,which will reach perfection. In this way,you'll be even-tempered and good-humored every day and have a happy life.
幸福的方向
一位年轻人走到湖边散步，突然看到水中有一块闪闪发亮的金币。他很高兴，就赶快跳进水里捞取。但是，无论怎么努力，他都捞不到金币。他浑身又湿又脏，非常疲倦，只好上来坐在岸边休息。没想到湖水平静之后，金币又显现了出来。
他很不甘心地又跳下水，结果还是没捞到，只得再上来坐着。他心想：“水中的金币到底在哪里呢？我明明看到了，为什么费了这么大劲儿还捞不到呢？”等水面又恢复平静后，金币再次出现。于是，他又跳下去捞，如此反复都徒劳无功，他实在很不甘心。
这时，父亲出来找他。看到儿子全身湿淋淋、脏兮兮的，就问他：“到底发生了什么事？你为什么会如此狼狈？”
儿子回答说：“我明明看到水中有金币，可怎么捞都捞不到！”
父亲看到平静的水面上好像真有一个金币，又抬头看看树上，就对儿子说：“你看！哪是什么金币，那是挂在树上的金属片，投射在水中呈现的幻影罢了！”
凡夫总是为名利、空幻的东西在奔波、辛劳，而这一切都只在于一贪念，而贪念往往会蒙蔽我们辨别是非的能力。有的人认为，人生很苦，要赶快找解脱的方法，因此转而寻求宗教信仰；但是，如果信仰没有正知、正见、正念，路就会走偏了。所以，我们应该要选择正确的人生方向，断恶修善，领悟真理。
世间的事物不过如水中倒影般虚无，因此要常怀知足之心，对人生事物能善解、包容、感恩，凡事就能圆融，这样就能天天过得心平气和，拥有一个幸福的人生。
The Uncared-for Happiness
In a painter's house,I saw a very special painting,which was a piece of mounted white paper,on the left middle of which there was a black stain.
I didn't understand what gifted pen such a black stain was that the painter hung it on the most prominent position right in the middle of the wall. I kept pondering for a long time,but my mind was still a complete blank.
I asked the artist for advice.
The painter said，“This painting of mine is called‘Happiness.'”
“Happiness?I don't understand.”In my memory,no artist could paint happiness.
The painter said，“The black stain in the middle stands for pain. When every person sees this painting of mine,he or she only sees this painful black stain,but can't see the happiness in the background.Isn't our life in this way?How much happiness we turn a blind eye to,but we are shut out by the minimal pain.”
I said，“In your mind,this painting should be a piece of white paper.”
He said，“Without pain,we won't even more see happiness.”
I come to see that we always focus on the pain while the happiness is often the part we have overlooked.
被忽略的快乐
在一位画家的屋里，我见到了一幅非常特别的画。那是一张被装裱起来的白纸，在中间偏左上的位置有一块黑渍。
我不明白这块黑渍到底算什么妙笔生花，被画家挂在了墙壁正当中最为显眼的位置上。我琢磨了很长时间，头脑里仍然是一片空白。
我向画家请教。
画家说：“我的这幅画叫‘快乐’。”
“快乐？我不明白。”在我的记忆中，没有哪个画家能画出快乐来。
画家说：“中间这块黑渍是痛苦，每个人看到我的这幅画时，都是只看到这块痛苦的黑渍，却看不到背景里的快乐。我们的生活不是这样吗？多少快乐，我们都视而不见，却被微小的痛苦遮住了双眼。”
我说：“按照你的说法，这张画应该是一张白纸。”
他说：“没有痛苦，我们更见不到快乐。”
我明白了，我们总是盯着痛苦，而快乐常常是被我们忽略的那部分。
The Catalogue of Happiness
“On my head pour only the sweet waters of serenity. Give me the gift of the untroubled mind.”
Once,as a young man full of exuberant fancy,I undertook to draw up a catalogue of the acknowledged happiness of life. As other men sometimes tabulate lists of properties they own or would like to own,I set down my inventory of earthly desirable：health,love,beauty,talent,power,riches and fame.
When my inventory was completed,I proudly showed it to a sage who had been the mentor and spiritual model of my youth. Perhaps I was trying to impress him with my precocious wisdom.Anyway,I handed him the list.“This，”I told him confidently.“is the sum of mortal happiness.If a man could possess them all,he would be as a god.”
“An excellent list，”he said thoughtfully.“But it appears,my young friend,you have omitted the most important element of all. You have forgotten the one ingredient,lacking which each possession becomes a hideous torment.”
“And what，”I asked，“is that missing ingredient?”
With a pencil stub he crossed out my entire tabulation and wrote down：peace of mind.“This is the gift God reserves，”he said.
“Talent and beauty he gives to many. Wealth is commonplace,fame not rare.But peace of mind—that is his fnal guerdon of approval,the fondest insignia of his love.Most men are never blessed with it；others wait all their lives—yes,far into advanced age—for this gift to descend upon them.”
人生幸福的目录
“只将宁静蜜汁醍醐灌顶，赐我以无忧心境。”
我年轻时曾充满丰富的幻想，着手起草了一份被公认为人生幸福的目录。就像他人有时会把他们拥有或想拥有的财产列成表那样，我把世人想要的东西——健康、爱情、美丽、才能、权力、财富和名誉——列了一个详细目录。
我列完这个详细目录后，自豪地让一位智者过目，他曾是我少年时代的辅导老师和精神楷模。也许我是想以自己早熟的智慧给他留下深刻印象。总之，我把那张目录递给了他。我充满自信地对他说：“这是人类幸福的总和。一个人能拥有所有这些，就和神一样了。”
他若有所思地说：“是一张出色的目录。可是，我年轻的朋友，你遗漏了最重要的一个要素。你忘记了一个因素，缺少了它，每项财产都会变成可怕的痛苦。”
我问道：“那遗漏的这个因素是什么？”
他用铅笔头划掉了我的整张表格，写下了：心静。“这是上帝保留的礼物。”他说。
“他把才能和美丽赐予许多人。财富是平凡的，名望也不稀罕，但心静才是他恩准的最后赐赏，是他最温柔的爱的象征。多数人从来没有这种福气，有些人则等了一辈子——是的，一直等到了老态龙钟，才等到这个赏赐降临到他们身上。”
Don't Keep Happiness away from Us
A college student once told me，“I don't need to be happy—just successful.”
It's an odd juxtaposition. She needn't be happy，“just successful.”She places one in opposition to the other.
Students are today's expressions of tomorrow's practices.
I remember from my own undergraduate years of a headline in my campus newspaper，“Why Aren't We Happy?”As the headline suggested,we fell short of leading joyful lives. Yet at least we are still looking for happiness.Like my success-seeking student,why do many of us want to give up happiness?
I've often failed to enjoy Sunday because of my schedule on Monday. At bottom,it was simply anticipatory anxiety over the work of the week ahead—I fear that there would be unexpected complications or that I would fail to measure in some way.Usually,when Monday came,I did quite well.Much of what I worried about never happened.
Happiness has its own underpinning. There's completeness to happiness that does not allow us to exclude our sense of the person we should be.Pleasure is certainly possible in less-than-honorable actions.But the experience of happiness requires more；it is pleasure taken in worthy things.
True happiness requires choices that develop into habits that evolve into character. And that's work we can't delegate.
So the essential first step is trying to lessen the anxiety—one that can avoid it. It requires us to brave everything unexpected and face all the annoyances of life calmly.
别让幸福远离我们
一名大学生曾告诉我说：“我不需要幸福，只要成功。”
这是一个奇怪的交叉对比。她不需要幸福，“只要成功”。她把这两者对立了起来。
学生今日之言就是明日之行。
我记得上大学时，校报上有一篇文章的标题是：“为什么我们不幸福？”这个标题是说：我们缺少快乐的生活。然而，我们至少仍在寻找幸福。为什么我们中的许多人像那个追求成功的学生一样要放弃幸福呢？
我常常不能去享受星期天，是因为星期一的工作进度。实际上，这仅仅是提前对未来一周的工作感到忧虑，我担心会发生难以预料的麻烦，要么是担心自己在某些方面无法进行估量。通常，星期一来临时，我做得还不错。我担心的很多事情从来没有发生过。
幸福自有其道德基础。幸福的完整性让我们不得不考虑自己应该做什么样的人。当然，一些不怎么光彩的行为也可能会产生快乐。但要想体验幸福，需要付出更多；正是快乐让我们体会到事物的价值。
真正的幸福需要作出选择，这些选择可以形成习惯，从而发展成为性格。这是我们无法越俎代庖的工作。
因此，获取幸福的首要一步就是尽量减少忧虑，这关键的第一步能让我们避开忧虑。它要求我们勇于接受毫无预想的一切，坦然面对生活中的一切烦恼。
The Secret of Happiness
There was a businessman,who sent his son to the most wise man in the world to ask for the secret of happiness. After going through all hardships for 40 days,this boy fnally found the wise man's beautiful castle.
When he entered the castle,the boy didn't meet a saint,but witnessed an unusually lively scene：business people came in and out,in every corner people were talking with each other and a small band was playing gentle music. The local delicacies was placed on a table.The wise man was talking with all the people one by one,so the boy had to wait for two hours for his turn.
The wise man attentively listened to the boy's reason for the visit,but he said at this point he didn't have time to explain the secret of happiness to him. He suggested the boy go around the palace and returned to see him after two hours.
“At the same time I ask you to do one thing，”the wise man said as he handed a spoon to the boy and dripped two drops of oil into it，“When you walk,take this spoon and do not let the oil spill.”
The boy began walking up and down the steps of the palace,his eyes always focusing on the spoon. Two hours later,he returned to the wise man.
“Have you seen the Persian carpets of my restaurant?Have you seen my garden the gardening master spent 10 years creating?Have you noticed those beautiful sheepskin volumes of my library?”the wise man asked.
The boy was very embarrassed,admitting he didn't see,for what he was only concerned about was the thing the wise man entrusted to him—namely,not to let the drops of oil in the spoon spill.
“Then you go back to see all kinds of rare things in here，”the wise man said，“If you don't know a person's home,you won't be able to trust him.”
Feeling more easily,the boy picked up the spoon and walked back into the palace. This time,he noticed all the artworks hung on the ceiling and walls,viewed the garden and the surrounding mountain scenery and saw the delicate flowers.When he returned to the wise man again,the boy dwelt on all he saw.
“But where's the two drops of oil I gave you?”the wise man asked.
Looking at the spoon,the boy found the oil had all been spilled.
“So this is the only warning I want to give you，”the wise man said，“the secret of happiness lies in enjoying all the wonders of the world and at the same time never forget the two drops of oil in the spoon.”
幸福的秘密
有位商人把儿子派往世界上最有智慧的人那里，去讨教幸福的秘密。这个男孩历尽艰辛，走了40天，终于找到了智者的美丽城堡。
男孩走进城堡，没有遇到一位圣人，却目睹了一个热闹非凡的场面：商人们进进出出，每个角落都有人在交谈，一支小乐队在演奏轻柔的乐曲。一张桌子上摆满了当地的美味佳肴。智者正一个个同所有的人谈话，所以男孩必须要等两个小时才能轮到。
智者认真地听了男孩所讲的来访原因，但说此刻他没有时间向男孩讲解幸福的秘密。他建议男孩在他的宫殿里转上一圈，两个小时后再来找他。
“与此同时，我要求你办一件事，”智者边说边把一个汤匙递给男孩，并在里面滴进了两滴油，“当你走路时，拿好这个汤匙，不要让油洒出来。”
男孩开始沿着宫殿的台阶上上下下，眼睛始终盯着汤匙不放。两小时后，他回到了智者面前。
“你看到我餐厅里的波斯地毯了吗？看到园艺大师花了10年心血创造出来的花园了吗？注意到我图书馆那些美丽的羊皮卷文献了吗？”智者问道。
男孩感到十分尴尬，承认他什么也没看到，他当时唯一关注的只是智者交付给他的事，也就是不要让汤匙里的两滴油洒出来。
“那你就转回去见识一下我这里的种种珍奇之物吧，”智者说道，“如果你不了解一个人的家，你就不能信任他。”
男孩轻松多了，他拿起汤匙重新回到宫殿里漫步。这一次，他注意到了天花板和墙壁上悬挂的所有艺术品，观赏了花园和四周的山景，看到了娇嫩的花儿。当他再回到智者面前时，男孩仔细地讲述了他所见到的一切。
“可是，我交给你的两滴油在哪里呢？”智者问道。
男孩向汤匙望去，发现油已经洒光了。
“那么，这就是我要给你的唯一忠告，”智者说，“幸福的秘密在于欣赏世界上所有的奇观异景，同时永远不要忘记汤匙里的两滴油。”
The Law of Happy Life
It is okay to make mistakes. Making mistakes is something we all do,and I'm still a fine and worthwhile person when I make them.There is no reason for me to get upset when I make a mistake.I am trying,so even if I make a mistake,I am going to continue trying.I can handle making a mistake.It is okay for others to make mistakes,too.I will accept mistakes in myself and in others.
Everybody doesn't have to love me. Not everybody has to love me or even like me.I don't necessarily like everybody,I know,so why should everybody else like me?I enjoy being liked and being loved,but if somebody doesn't like me,I will still be okay.I cannot make somebody like me,as somebody cannot get me to like them.I don't need approval all the time.If someone does not approve of me,I will still be okay.
I don't have to control things. I will survive if things are different than what I want them to be.I can accept things the way they are,people the way they are and myself the way I am.There is no reason to get upset if I can't change things to ft my idea of how they ought to be.There is no reason why I should have to like everything.Even if I don't like it,I can't live with it.
I'm responsible for my day. I'm responsible for how I feel and what I do.Nobody can make me feel anything.If I have a rotten day,I'm the one who allows it to be that way.If I have a great day,I'm the one who deserves credit for being positive.It is not the responsibility of other people to change so that I can feel better.I'm the one who is in charge of my life.
I can handle it when things go wrong. I don't need to watch out for things to go wrong all the time.Things usually go just fne,and when they don't,I can handle it.I don't have to waste my energy worrying.The sky won't fall in；things will be okay.
I can do it. I don't need someone else to take care of my problem.I can do it.I can take care of myself.I can make decisions for myself.I can think for myself.I don't have to depend on somebody else to take care of me.
I can play to the score. There is more than one way to do something.More than one person has had good ideas that will work.There is no one and only“best”way.Everybody has ideas that are worthwhile.Some may take more sense to me than others,but everyone's ideas are worthwhile while everyone has something worthwhile to contribute.
幸福生活的定律
犯错误也没什么大不了的。我们都会犯错误。就算犯错误，我还是一个恪尽职守的人才。我犯错误后，完全没有理由忐忑不安。因为我一直在努力，所以即使犯了错误，也会继续努力。我能正确对待犯错误。别人犯错误也没关系。我会接受自己犯错误，也会接受别人犯错误。
并不是人人都得爱我。不是每个人都得爱我或喜欢我。我不一定喜欢我认识的每一个人，所以为什么其他每个人都应该喜欢我呢？尽管我乐意被人喜欢或被人爱，但如果有人不喜欢我，我仍会好好的。我无法迫使某个人喜欢我，就像某个人也不能迫使我喜欢他一样。我不需要时时刻刻得到认可。如果有人不认可我，我仍会好好的。
我不必事事都控制。就是事情和我想的不一样，我也照样活着。我能接受事情本来的样子，接受人们本来的面貌，接受本真的我。如果我不能让事情成为我想要的样子，也没有什么理由忐忑不安。我没有理由要喜欢世间的一切。即使不喜欢，我仍能忍受。
我对自己的每一天负责。我对自己的感觉和自己的所为负责。没有人能强迫我对一切事情的感觉。如果我一天过得很糟，那是我对自己的放任自流。如果我一天过得很棒，那是我态度积极，应该受到赞扬。其他人没有责任为了让我感觉更好而改变。我是掌握自己人生的主人。
出了问题，我能处理。我不必时刻担心事情会出错。事情常常会顺利进行，就算不能顺利进行，我也能处理好。我不必浪费时间去杞人忧天。天不会塌下来，一切都会好起来。
我能行。我不需要别人来处理我的问题。我能行。我能照顾好自己，能自己作出决定，能自己思考。我不必依靠别人来照顾我。
我能随机应变。做事方法不止一种。不止一个人有奏效的妙方。也没有哪一种方法“无懈可击”。每个人都有值得一试的主意。有些可能对我更有帮助，但每个人的主意都有可取之处，每个人都能想出一些好办法。
The Ways of Happiness
I live in the land of Disney,Hollywood,where the sun shines all the year. You may think people in such a glamorous place brimming over with fun are happier than others.If so,you have some mistakes about the nature of happiness.
Many intelligent people still equate happiness with fun. The truth is that fun and happiness have little or nothing in common.Fun is what we experience during an act.Happiness is what we experience after an act.It is a deeper,more abiding emotion.
The way people frmly believe that life full of joy and away from pain equaling happiness actually diminishes their chances of ever attaining real happiness. If fun and pleasure are equated with happiness,pain must be equated with unhappiness.But in fact,the opposite is true：more times than not,things that lead to happiness involve some pain.
As a result,many people avoid the very endeavors that are the source of true happiness. They fear the pain inevitably brought by such things as marriage,raising children,professional achievement,religious commitment,civic or charitable work and self-improvement.
Ask a bachelor why he resists marriage even though he finds dating to be less and less satisfying. If he's honest,he will tell you that he is afraid of making a commitment.For commitment is in fact quite painful.The single life is flled with fun,adventure and excitement.Marriage has such movement,but they are not its most distinguishing features.
Similarly,couples who choose not to have children are in favor of painless fun over painful happiness. They can dine out whenever they want,travel wherever they want and sleep as late as they want.Couples with infants are lucky to get a whole night's sleep or a three-day vacation.
But couples who decide not to have children never experience the pleasure of hugging them or tucking them into bed at night. They never know the joy of watching a child grow up or of playing with a grandchild.
But these forms of fun do not contribute in any way to my happiness. Writing,raising children,creating deep relationship with my wife and trying to do good in the world will bring me more happiness.
Understanding and accepting that true happiness has nothing to do with fun is one of the most liberating realizations we can ever come to. It liberates time：now we can devote more hours to activities that can genuinely increase our happiness.It liberates money：buying that new car or those fancy clothes won't increase our happiness now.And it liberates us from envy：we now understand that all those rich and glamorous people we were so sure are happy because actually they are not be happy at all.
The moment we understand that fun doesn't bring happiness,we will begin to lead our lives differently. The effect can be surely life-transforming.
幸福的方式
我住在好莱坞的迪士尼乐园，那里一年四季阳光普照。你也许以为生活在那样富有魅力、充满乐趣的地方一定比别的地方的人幸福。假如这样的话，你就对幸福的真谛有些误解。
很多聪明人仍把幸福和乐趣相提并论。其实，乐趣和幸福几乎或根本没有共同之处。乐趣是我们行为过程中的体验。幸福是我们行为过后的体验。它是一种更深刻、更持久的感情。
人们坚信充满欢乐、远离痛苦的生活方式就等于幸福，其实减少了他们获得真正幸福的机会。如果欢乐和愉快等同幸福，那痛苦就一定等同不幸。但事实上恰恰相反：多数情况下，能带来幸福的事物常常包含一些痛苦。
因此，许多人避开的那些努力正是真正幸福的源泉。他们害怕那些肯定会带来痛苦的事情，比如结婚、抚养子女、专业成就、承担宗教义务、社会或慈善事业及自我改善。
即使一个单身汉对约会越来越不满意，你问他为什么不想结婚时，如果他诚实，也会告诉你，他害怕承担义务。因为承担义务确实非常痛苦。独身生活充满乐趣、冒险和激情。尽管婚姻也有这样的活动，但大为逊色。
同样，选择不要孩子的夫妇都赞成没有痛苦的快乐，而不要痛苦的幸福。他们可以随时出去吃饭，随便到什么地方旅游，想睡多晚就睡多晚。有小孩子的夫妻能睡一晚上或有三天假期，算是幸运的了。
可是，决定不要孩子的夫妇绝不会体会到拥抱孩子或晚上给孩子掖被子时的乐趣。他们绝不会明白看着孩子长大或逗弄孙子孙女的喜悦。
不过，这些形式的乐趣无论如何都不是我说的幸福。写作、抚养孩子、加深和妻子的感情与尽力做善事会给我带来更多的幸福。
理解并接受真正的幸福和娱乐无关，我们却能获得最大限度的解放。它解放时间：现在，我们可以把更多时间用于那些能真正增加我们幸福的活动。它解放金钱：买那辆新车或那些时尚衣服现在不会增加我们的幸福。而且它把我们从嫉妒中解放出来：我们现在理解了那些我们确信幸福、令人向往的富人，因为他们其实根本不幸福。
我们懂得了娱乐不会带来幸福，就会开始以不同的方式生活。其效果肯定会改变人生。
The Door to Happiness
Happiness is like a pebble dropped into a pool to set in motion an ever-widening circle of ripples. As Stevenson said，“Being happy is a duty.”
There is no exact defnition of the word—happiness. Happy people are happy for all sorts of reasons.The key is not wealth or physical well-being,for we findbeggars,invalids and so-called failures are extremely happy.
Being happy is a sort of unexpected dividend. But staying happy is an accomplishment,a triumph of soul and character.It is not selfsh to strive for it.It is,indeed,a duty to us and others.
Being unhappy is like an infectious disease；it causes people to shrink away from the sufferer. He soon fnds himself alone,miserable and embittered.There is,however,a cure that seems ridiculous but simple：if you don't feel happy,pretend to be！
It works. Before long you will fnd that instead of repelling people,you attract them.You will discover how deeply rewarding it is to be the center of wider and wider circles of goodwill.
Then the make-believe becomes a reality. You possess the secret of peace of mind and can forget yourself in being of service to others.
Being happy,once it is realized as a duty and established as a habit,opens door into mysterious gardens thronged with grateful friends.
幸福之门
幸福就像掉进池塘里的一枚鹅卵石，渐渐荡起一圈圈涟漪，不断向外扩散。就像史蒂文森所说：“幸福是一种责任。”
“幸福”这个词没有确切的定义，幸福的人之所以幸福，有各种各样的理由。关键不在财富或健康，因为我们发现乞丐、残疾人和所谓的失败者都特别快乐。
幸福是一种意想不到的红利。但保持幸福是一种成就，是灵魂和品格的成功。追求幸福并不是自私，其实是对自己和他人的一种责任。
郁郁寡欢就像传染病，这使人们常常对郁郁寡欢的人退避三舍。他很快会发现自己孤独、痛苦和难过。然而，有一种治疗方法看似荒唐，其实简单：如果你觉得不幸福，就假装幸福！
这很管用。不久，你会发现，自己会吸引他人，而不是令人不快。你会发现以善意为中心、越来越宽广的交际圈是多么有益，深得人心。
于是，假装的幸福就成了一种事实。你拥有内心平静的秘诀，就能在帮助他人时忘记自我。
一旦意识到保持幸福心境是一种责任并形成一种习惯，就能打开神秘花园的门，那里聚集着满怀感激的朋友们。
Happiness Doesn't Need a List
A man and his girlfriend were married. It was a large celebration.
All of their friends and family came to see the lovely ceremony and to partake of the festivities and celebrations. All had wonderful time.
The bride was gorgeous in her white wedding gown and the groom was very dashing in his black tuxedo. Everyone could tell that the love they had for each other was true.
A few months later,the wife came to the husband with a proposal，“I read in a magazine,a while ago,about how we can strengthen our marriage. Each of us will write a list of the things that we fnd a bit annoying with the other person.Then,we can talk about how we can fx them together and make our lives happier together.”
The husband agreed. So each of them went to a separate room in the house and thought of the things that annoyed them about the other.They thought about this question for the rest of the day and wrote down what they came up with.
The next morning,at the breakfast table,they decided that they would go over their lists.
“I'll start，”offered the wife. She took out her list.It had many items on it.Enough to fill three pages,in fact.As she started reading the list of the little annoyances,she noticed that tears were starting to appear in her husband's eyes.
“What's wrong?”she asked.
“Nothing，”the husband replied.“Keep reading your list.”
The wife continued to read until she had read all three pages to her husband. She neatly placed her list on the table and folded her hands over the top of it.
“Now,you read your list and then we'll talk about the things on both of our lists，”she said happily.
Quietly the husband stated，“I don't have anything on my list. I think that you are perfect the way that you are.I don't want you to change anything for me.You are lovely and wonderful and I wouldn't want to try and change anything about you.”
The wife,touched by his honesty and the depth of his love for her and his acceptance of her,turned her head and wept.
In life,there are enough times when we are disappointed,depressed and annoyed. We don't really have to go looking for them.We have a wonderful world that is full of beauty,light and promise.Why waste time in this world looking for the sad,disappointing or annoying when we can look around us,and see the wondrous things before us?
幸福不需要列单子
一个男人和他的女朋友喜结连理，举行了一场盛大庆典。
所有的亲朋好友都来亲眼见证这场迷人的典礼，同喜同贺，大家都非常开心。
新娘一袭雪白婚纱，光彩照人；新郎一身黑色礼服，英气逼人。大家都能看出来，他们彼此相爱是出于真心。
几个月后，妻子向丈夫提出了一个建议：“我刚才在杂志上看到一篇文章，说的是我们如何能巩固我们的婚姻。我们各自列出使对方有点儿生气的事情，然后可以商量一下看如何一起解决，这会使我们的生活更加幸福。”
丈夫表示同意。于是，他们各自到自己的房间里想使对方生气的事情。那天剩下的时间，他们都在想这个问题，并把想起来的事情写了下来。
第二天早上吃早饭时，他们决定仔细看了一下对方写的。
“我先来吧。”妻子主动说道。她拿出自己列的单子，上面写了满满三页。她开始念丈夫那些小毛病时，注意到丈夫的眼里涌出了泪水。
“怎么了？”她问道。
“没什么，”丈夫答道，“继续念你的单子吧。”
妻子接着念，直到向丈夫念完三张纸后，才把单子整齐地放在桌子上，两手交叉放在上面。
“现在，你念自己的单子吧。你念完后，我们来谈谈双方单子上列的那些事情，”妻子开心地说道。
丈夫平静地说：“我在单子上什么也没写。我认为你现在非常完美。我不想让你为我改变什么。你可爱迷人，我不想设法改变你所有的一切。”
丈夫的诚实、深爱和容忍感动了她。她转过头，哭了起来。
生活中，很多时候，我们都会感到失望、沮丧和苦恼。我们不必较真去寻找它们。我们拥有一个充满美丽、光明和希望的奇妙世界。我们环顾四周，就可以看到这些奇妙事情，为什么要把时间浪费在寻找伤心、失望和苦恼上呢？
Happiness Lights Your Life
Ten things are necessary for happiness in this life,the first being a gooddigestion,and the other nine—money；so at least it is said by our modern philosophers. Yet the author of A Gentle Life speaks more truly in saying that the Divine Creation includes thousands of superfuous joys which are totally unnecessary to the bare support of life.
He alone is the happy man who has learned to extract happiness—not from ideal conditions,but from the actual ones about him. The man who has mastered the secret will not wait for ideal surroundings；he will not wait until next year,next decade,until he gets rich,until he can travel abroad,until he possesses everything,but he will make the most of life today.
Paradise is everywhere,but you must take your joy,or you will never fnd it.
It is after business hours,not in them,that people relax themselves. When finishing their work,people must,like Philip Amour,unlock the doors of some wholesome recreation at once.Dr.Lyman Beecher used to divert himself with a violin,relieving the great strain put upon him.
“A man，”says Dr. Johnson，“should spend part of his time laughing.”
Humor was Lincoln's life-preserver,as it has been of thousands of others.“If it were not for this，”he used to say，“I should die.”His jests and quaint stories lit the gloomy hours of the nation.
“Next to virtue，”said Agnes Strickland，“the fun in this world is what we can least spare.”
“I have fun from morning till night，”said the editor Charles A. Dana to a friend who was growing prematurely old.“Do you read novels,play billiards and walk a great deal?”
Gladstone early formed a habit of looking on the bright side of things and never lost a moment's sleep by worrying about public business.
There are many out-of-door sports,and the very presence of nature is to many a great joy. How true it is that,if we are cheerful and contented,all nature smiles with us-the air seems more balmy,the sky more clear,the earth has a brighter green,the trees have a richer foliage,the flowers are more fragrant,the birds sing more sweetly,and the sun,moon and stars all appear more beautiful.“It is a grand thing to live—to open the eyes in the morning and look out upon the world,to drink in the pure air and enjoy the sweet sunshine and to feel the pulse throb；it is a good thing to be alive simply,and it is a good world we live in in spite of the abuse we're fond of giving it.”
Each of us has joy mines that aren't prospected. And he who goes“prospecting”to see what he can daily discover is a wise man,who is training his eyes to see beauty in everything and everywhere.
“One ought,every day，”said Goethe，“at least to hear a little song,read a good poem,see a fne picture,and,if it were possible,to speak a few reasonable words.”And if this be good for one's self,why not try the song,the poem,the picture and good words on someone else?
Shall music and poetry die out of you while you are struggling for that which can never enrich the character,nor add to the soul's worth?Shall a disciplined imagination fll the mind with beautiful pictures?He who has intellectual resources to fall back upon won't lack daily recreation most wholesome……
It is a remark of Archbishop Whateley that we ought to cultivate the cornfelds of the mind,but the pleasure grounds also. A well-balanced life is a cheerful life；a happy union of fine qualities and unruffled temper,a clear judgment,and well-proportioned faculties.In a corner of his desk,Lincoln kept a copy of the latest humorous work；and it was frequently his habit,when fatigued,annoyed or depressed,to take this up and read a chapter with great relief.Honesty,sagaciousness or wit—anything to provoke mirth and make a man jollier—this,too,is a gift from heaven.
幸福点亮人生
这一生要幸福，必须具备十个条件，首先要有良好的消化能力，其他九个则都是金钱。至少这是我们当代的哲学家这样说的。不过，《温柔生活》的作者说得更为现实，他说这种神圣产物包含成千上万的多余快乐。这对毫无生活能力的人来说完全是多此一举。
他自己就是一个幸福的人，他已经学会了如何找到幸福，不是来自理想的状态，而是来自身边的实际生活。领悟了这个秘密的人，就不会等待理想的环境，不会等到下一年、下一个十年，不会等到自己成为富人，不会等到自己能去国外旅行，也不会等到自己拥有一切，而是充分利用今天。
天堂无处不在，但你必须带着快乐，否则你将永远找不到。
人们应在上班时间后，而不应在上班时间内，放松自己。人们必须像菲利普·阿穆尔那样，在完成工作时，马上打开有益于健康的娱乐之门。莱曼·比彻博士经常用一把小提琴自得其乐，以此来缓解巨大的紧张感。
约翰逊博士说：“一个人应花一部分时间欢笑。”
和成千上万的人一样，幽默是林肯的人生秘诀。他常常说：“要不是因为这样，我就应该死。”他的笑话和有趣故事点亮了处于低潮时期的国家。
“除了美德，”艾格尼丝·斯特里克兰说，“乐趣也是世界上我们能分享的最少东西之一。”
“我一天到晚都很快乐，”编辑查尔斯·达纳问一个未老先衰的朋友，“你看小说、打台球、经常散步吗？”
英国首相格拉德斯通很早就养成了一种乐观看待事物的习惯，从来没有因担心公务而失眠过。
许多户外活动和自然景象都可以让人获得许多快乐。确实，如果我们愉快满足，大自然都会同我们微笑——空气似乎比平常更加和煦，蓝天更加晴朗，大地更加翠绿，树木更加茂盛，鲜花更加芬芳，小鸟唱得更加甜美，太阳、月亮和星星更加美观。
“活着的感觉真棒——清晨睁开眼睛，望着窗外的世界，呼吸着纯净的空气，享受着可爱的阳光，感受着脉跳；简单地活着就是一件好事；尽管我们动不动就骂这个世界，但我们仍然生活在一个美好的世界里。”
我们每个人身上都有“尚未开采的快乐宝藏”。
每天都去“采矿”并能有新发现的人才是真正的智者，因为他让自己的眼睛训练有素，从每件事和每个地方中看到美。
歌德说：“一个人应该每天至少听一首小曲、咏一首好诗、赏一幅美画，而且如果可能的话，说几句有道理的话。”
如果这对一个人有益的话，何不试着去听歌、咏诗、赏画，对他人说有道理的话呢？
当你为既不能充实性格又不能增添心灵价值的东西奋斗时，音乐和诗歌会从你的心中消失吗？循规蹈矩的想象力怎能让你的脑海里充满美丽的画面？一个心智健全的人每天都不缺少有利身心健康的娱乐活动……
惠特利大主教说，我们应该耕种心灵的麦田，也应该培养精神的游乐场。意识健全的生活是一种愉快的生活；是优秀品质、温和性情、清晰判断和适当能力的一种幸福结合。林肯总是在桌角放一册最近的幽默作品，每当疲乏、烦恼或沮丧时，他就常常习惯地拿起这册书，带着极大安慰看上一章。诚实、睿智或风趣都能带来欢笑，使人更加开心，这也是上天赐予的礼物。
Where Is Happiness
A bird went to look for its happiness in the distance.
It few and few when it suddenly saw a little wilting fower,whose face was full of smile. Not knowing why,the bird asked the little fower，“You're going to die.Why are you still so happy?”
“Because my dream will come true，”said the little fower.
“What kind of dream do you have?”
“To bear luscious fruit.”
Then the little bird saw it：happiness is a hope in the heart.
The little bird kept fying；it few and few when it suddenly saw a lame duck,which was singing a song. Not knowing why,it asked the duck，“The fate treats you so unfairly.Why are you still so happy with yourself?”
“Because I saw a little duck fall，”said the duck.
“So are you happy because you saw it trip over itself?”
“No,I'm happy because I help it stand up again.”
Then the little bird saw it：happiness is a love in the heart.
The bird kept fying；it few and few when it suddenly saw a spider climbing up a slippery wall. The spider fell off the wall midway,but it kept climbing again and fell off again.This didn't discourage the spider；it kept climbing over and over again.Not knowing why,the little bird asked the spider，“You failed again and again,why don't you have pain but happiness on your face?”
“As long as I keep making my efforts,there is still hope to climb up it. Because of this,I'm so delighted，”said the spider.
The little bird saw it：happiness is a faith in the heart.
So the little bird pursued happiness no longer because it had seen the truth：happiness is not in the distance but in your own heart.
幸福在哪里
一只小鸟去远方寻找幸福。
它飞啊飞，突然看到了一朵快要枯萎的小花，但小花笑容满面。小鸟不解何故，便问小花：“你快要死了，为什么你还这样开心呀？”
“因为我的梦想就要实现了。”小花说。
“什么梦想？”
“长出甜美的果实。”
小鸟明白了：幸福是心中的一个希望。
小鸟向前飞；它飞啊飞，突然看到了一只瘸腿鸭。鸭子正哼着歌儿。小鸟不解何故，便问鸭子：“命运对你这样不公，为什么你还这样开心呀？”
“因为我看到一只小鸭摔倒了。”鸭子说。
“你是见到小鸭摔倒而开心吗？”
“不是。我开心，是因为我帮小鸭站了起来。”
小鸟明白了：幸福是心中的一份爱。
小鸟继续向前飞；它飞啊飞，突然看到了一只蜘蛛正在爬一面滑溜溜的墙。蜘蛛中途摔了下来，但它又向上爬，爬到中途，又摔了下来，但蜘蛛一点也不泄气，继续向上爬。小鸟不解何故，便问蜘蛛：“你一次次失败，为什么你的脸上没有痛苦而是快乐呢？”
“只要我不断努力，总有希望爬上去。正因为这样，我非常开心。”蜘蛛说。
小鸟明白了：幸福心中的一种信念。
于是，小鸟不再去远方寻找幸福，因为它已经开始懂得，幸福不在远方，而在自己心里。
I Choose to Be Cheerful
At the beginning of my 8:00 a. m.class one Monday at college,I cheerfully asked my students how their weekend had been.One young man said that this weekend had not been very good.He'd had his wisdom teeth extracted.The young man then proceeded to ask me why I always seemed to be so cheerful.
His question reminded me of something I'd read somewhere before，“Every morning when you get up,you can have a choice about how to spend that day.”I said to the young man，“I choose to be cheerful.”
“Let me give you an example，”I continued. The other students in the class ceased their chatter and began to listen to our conversation.“In addition to teaching here at college,I teach at the community college,about seventeen miles down the freeway from where I live.One day,a few weeks ago,I drove those seventeen miles to that college.I exited the freeway and turned onto College Drive.I only had to drive another quarter-mile down the road to the college.But just then my car died.I tried to start it again,but the engine wouldn't turn over.So I put my fashers on,grabbed my books and marched down the road to the college.
“As soon as I got there I called AAA and asked them to send a tow truck. The secretary in the Provost's office asked me what had happened.‘This is my lucky day，'I replied,smiling.
“‘Your car breaks down and today is your lucky day?'She was puzzled.‘What do you mean?'
“‘I live seventeen miles from here，'I replied.‘My car could have broken down anywhere along the freeway. It didn't.Instead,it broke down in the perfect place：off the freeway,within walking distance of here.I'm still able to teach my class,and I've been able to arrange for the tow truck to meet me after class.If my car was meant to break down today,it couldn't have been arranged in a more convenient fashion.’
“The secretary's eyes opened wide,and then she smiled. I smiled back and headed for class.”
After ending my story to the students,I scanned the sixty faces in the lecture hall with a smile. Obviously,my story had touched them.
我选择快乐
星期一早上8点，我在大学授课时，兴高采烈地问学生们周末过得怎么样。一位年轻人说这个周末过得不很好，因为他拔掉了智齿。年轻人随后问我为什么总是看起来这样快乐。
他的问题使我想起了以前在什么地方看过的一句话：“每天早上起床时，你可以选择如何度过这一天。”我对年轻人说：“我选择了快乐。”
“我给你举个例子，”我接着说。班上其他同学也不再叽叽喳喳说话，开始听我们谈话。“除了在这里授课，我还在社区学院授课。顺着高速公路，距离我住的地方有17英里车程。几周前的一天，我开车去那个学院授课。我下了高速公路，拐到学院快车道上。我再开四分之一英里就到那个学院了。但就在这时，我的车熄火了。我试着重新发动车子，但发动机没有起动。于是，我打开闪光灯，一把抓起书，大步流星朝学校走去。
“我一到那里，就给美国汽车协会打电话，让他们派一辆拖车来。教务处的秘书问我发生了什么事儿。我面带微笑地回答说：‘今天是我的幸运日。’
“‘你的车坏了，今天是你的幸运日？’她迷惑不解，‘你是什么意思？’“我回答说：‘我住的地方离这里有17英里。我的车子本可能坏在高速公路上的任何地方，但它并没有，而是坏在了一个非常理想的地方：下了高速公路，刚好可以步行到这里。我仍能授课，而且我已经安排好拖车下课后来接我。如果我的车子今天想坏，它安排的方式是再方便不过了。’
“秘书睁大了眼睛，然后露出了微笑。我也对她微笑了一下，就上课去了。”
讲完故事后，我面带微笑扫视着报告厅里的60张面孔。显然，我的故事已经打动了他们。
The Mystery of Happiness
In Jerusalem,I met such a young man,who was extraordinarily optimistic,soI asked him what the secret of his happiness was. He said to me，“At the age of 11，I accidentally received a thing.
“That day I rode a bicycle in the street when a gust of wind blew me to the center of the street. An approaching truck from the opposite direction knocked me down and rolled my leg.
“When the blood kept oozing,I realized I would live for the rest of my lifetime with only one leg. I was extremely frustrated,but I quickly realized my sadness and frustration couldn't exchange my lost leg,so I decided that I could never waste my time in sorrow and grief in the future.
“When my parents rushed to the hospital,they were both shocked and saddened.
“I told them，‘I have adapted to all this. It's time for you to adapt to the situation that I spare one leg.'
“From then on,seeing my friends feel sad and dismayed at some trifes,I will tell them to smile on life and enjoy life.”
At the age of 11，this young man has understood that it is a waste to put time and energy on things that have lost,whereas the secret of happiness is to enjoy and cherish what we have now owned.
幸福的奥秘
我曾在耶路撒冷遇到这样一个年轻人，他有着非同寻常的快乐性格，因此我问他快乐的秘密是什么，他对我说：“11岁时，我意外地收到了一样东西。
“那天，我在街上骑着自行车，一阵大风把我吹到街中央。这时，迎面驶来一辆大货车，把我撞倒在地，轧伤了我的一条腿。
“血不断地流，那时我意识到，我的下半生将会在只有一条腿的情况下度过。当时，我沮丧万分，但我很快意识到，悲伤与沮丧都无法换回失去的那条腿。因此，我决定，以后绝不能把时间浪费在悲伤、难过中。
“我父母赶到医院时，他们既惊愕又难过。我对他们说：‘我已经适应了这一切，这次轮到你们来适应我只剩下一条腿的境况。’
“从此以后，看到我的朋友们因一些小事而难过、沮丧时，我都会告诉他们要笑对人生、享受生活。”
这个年轻人11岁时就已经明白把时间和精力用在已经失去的事物上是一种浪费，而快乐、幸福的秘密就是享受并珍惜现在拥有的。
The Power of a Smile
I placed the items on the moving belt. Slowly,my packages moved towards the cash register.
The cashier was tired. I could see it on her face.It was towards the end of her shift.She had no doubt been standing and ringing the cash register all day.I know the cash registers don't ring anymore,for they are computerized,but when I worked as a cashier,they rang.
My two-year-old son,Josees,was with me.
She performed her job with all her weary spirit she could summon.
Josees stood in front of her across the belt. His tiny frame was inches below the top of the moving belt.I don't know what made him move away from me and stand there.Children can at times move more on instinct than logic.
He stood there looking up.
Sensing something,she looked down.“Oh thank God,look at that smile！”she exclaimed.
She changed. The tiredness left.The dreariness left.She appeared as fresh as if she had just walked through the door.
Josees continued standing and smiling. She continued to revive.
I saw not the power of a child,but the power of a pure smile.
Remember,you have the same power.
Each day you will meet someone who is tired,weary and dreary. For many,the tired,weary,dreary person you meet will be in the mirror.
Even in the mirror,the power of a smile still works.
When you smile,the muscles of your face contract on a special gland in the brain which release a hormone in the brain that eases stress and causes a slight euphoric high.
Smile right now and see if that gland is in your brain,too. She was still bubbling as we walked out of the store.
Josees never said a word. He only smiled.
Remember Josees when you meet your weary person each day. Remember someone needs smile.
微笑的力量
我把要买的商品放在传送带上。慢慢地，我那些东西移向收银员。
收银员一脸倦容，我从她的脸上看得出来，她轮班的时间要到了。她肯定一直在那里站着按了一天的收银机。我知道收银机不再响铃了，因为它们都电脑化了，但我做出纳时，收银机都响铃。
两岁的儿子乔西斯和我在一起。
收银员强打精神工作着。
乔西斯随着传送带站在她面前，他矮小的身材离传送带顶还有几英寸（1英寸=2.54厘米）。我不知道是什么让他离开我站在了那里。孩子们有时更多的是依靠本能，而不是逻辑，进行活动。
他站在那里，仰起头。
收银员感觉到了什么，低下头。“噢，天哪，看那微笑！”她惊叫道。
她像变了个人，疲倦和低落一扫而光，看上去就像刚开始工作似的神采奕奕。
乔西斯继续站在那里微笑着。她继续精神抖擞。
我明白那不是一个孩子的力量，而是一个纯真微笑的力量。
记住，你也拥有这样的力量。
每天你都会遇到某个疲惫、厌烦和低落的人。对许多人来说，镜子里的那个疲惫、厌倦、低落的人正是自己。
即便是在镜子里，微笑的力量仍会发生作用。
你微笑时，面部肌肉会因大脑里的某个特定的腺体而收缩，分泌荷尔蒙来减轻压力，产生一种轻微的快感。
马上微笑吧，看你的大脑里是否也有这样的腺体。
我们走出商店时，收银员还是喜气洋洋。
乔西斯一句话没说，只是微笑。
每天当你遇到疲惫的人时，记住乔西斯。记住有人需要微笑。