如画校园
The Legend of Room 3108
姓名：徐康意
学号：0270039
Room 3108 is a legend, a myth, and a folklore of great endeavor, hardships, and pursuit.In a word, it is a shrine of the hardworking students in Fudan.
Every morning, when the sunshine penetrates into the room, the night owls wrap up their books and leave.Then, with bread in their mouths, new comers rush in for the daily lessons. A new day begins.
In the sunny splendor of early spring, the pied magpies are showing off their sweet voice outside the window.Inside the classroom, students are working hard to fulfil their desires—desires to explore the uncharted frontier of science and technology, desires to clear up the unsolved social and economic problems, desires to achieve breakthroughs of engineering, and desires to combat fatal diseases.All lives in the room are in full swing.
As the sunshine fades, the shrine reaches its climax in a day.Different lectures compete with each other on this arena. 120 All the attention is focused on the lecturer and the applause from audience is the first award.Occasionally, a student sneaks in to occupy a seat for tomorrow's lesson.Almost no one notices him, for all the people have their eyes fixed on every gesture, every expression and every word of the lecturer, devouring as much as they can until the emcee officially declares the conclusion of the lecture.
Then, come the night owls.Students, from freshmen to seniors, write and read, trying every means to work with high efficiency.As the midnight approaches, drowsiness would press most learners out of the room.Still, a certain number are nailed on the seats till the daybreak.
That's Room 3108, a shrine for the hardworking knowledge seekers.
简评
本文用生动的笔墨描写了3108教室中学生废寝忘食地学习知识的情景。作者在文章开始用四个比喻来形容3108教室——a legend, a myth, and a folklore of great endeavor, hardships, and pursuit, a shrine of the hardworking in Fudan。然后作者按时间顺序展开了3108教室中一天的场景，从早上彻夜奋战的学生疲惫地离去，直至午夜仍有不少学生抓紧分分秒秒在自习。其中，作者详细描述了晚上在3108教室中做各种学术报告的情景，突出了学生强烈的求知欲。
本文的另一个值得一提的是作者在第三段中用了四个有desire引起的并列成分，概括了文理工医各门学科的复旦学子都在刻苦学习，攀登高峰，3108教室只是整个校园的一个缩影。笔者建议最好能选取几个有代表性的例子，具体地描写他们刻苦学习的情景，做到点面结合，使文章更加有血有肉，令人信服。
（点评教师：黄莺）
姓名：顾若鸥
学号：024404 1
