A Memorable Day

One afternoon, it was drizzling.I was on my way home by train.There were only a few passengers in the carriage.When the train reached the station in front of a bridge, two impressive passengers got on, an old and a young.They looked like father and son.And they were both disabled.The old man was blind. The little boy of eight or nine years old had only one eye open, the other closed tightly.The little boy took pains to move with his father.As the train started rumbling again, the little boy's voice got around, “Grandpas, grandmas, uncles and aunts, my honor to meet you.I'm Xiao Ming.Now I will sing a song for you.”

Although the song was not very elegant, it sounded cordial and sweet.After several songs, as was expected, the boy began to“beg”.Neither did he use a plate, nor did he extend his hands before you.He just said, “Uncles and aunts”, then he would keep in silence.Everyone understood what he meant, but they pretended to know nothing.Some even turned their heads aside.

When the boy got to the end of the carriage with empty hands, a middle-aged woman screamed with annoyance, “What on hell happens? The beggars are everywhere! ”Suddenly all eyes fixed on them.To our surprise, the little boy said slowly and seriously, “Aunt, I'm not a beggar.I live on singing.”

At that moment, my eyes misted.I was not aware of who started to applaud.Immediately, the carriage was filled with applause.As I was putting a coin on his hand, I believed that there was no beggar on earth.

简评

本文记叙了作者在回家的火车上遇见的一对身患残疾、以卖唱为生的父子，记叙了这对父子在艰难的生活中仍然保持着做人的尊严，呼吁社会对弱势群体多一点关怀，少一点冷漠。作者首先描写了这对父子的外貌：父亲双目失明，七八岁的小男孩一个眼睛睁着，另一个眼睛紧闭着，行动困难。然后，小男孩老练地开始卖唱乞讨。但乞讨的过程并不顺利，不但没有人给钱，还有一个妇女故意出言羞辱。出人意料的是，小男孩不卑不亢地回答，“我不是乞丐，我以卖唱为生。”不禁令所有在场的人为此而鼓掌，也令读者对这对父子在如此艰难的生活中仍然不忘保持做人的尊严而肃然起敬。

文章在结构上层层推进，在情节上有起伏，直至最后的高潮，像一篇微型小说。不足之处是最后一句意义不清：为何我给了他钱，地球上就没有乞丐了？前面不是已经表明此二人并非乞丐？笔者建议在文章的结尾处可以把观点表述得更明确、更深刻一些，否则文章的立意似乎高度不够。

（点评教师：黄莺）

姓名：仇薇

学号：0050025