2.Essential Qualities of Friendship
While emphasizing interpersonal harmony, friendship does not mean yielding to others without any principle or playing up to those in power.Instead, it seeks "harmony but not uniformity".It is all too natural for us to have different hobbies, personalities or interests, and to have different perspectives on the same issue.However, a real friendly person should be bold enough to stick to the facts and his own principles, stating his views in a mild and fair manner without playing dirty tricks behind the others.
Classic Interpretation
Not only must we unite with those who agree with us, we must also be good at uniting with those who disagree and even with those who formerly opposed us and have since been proved wrong in practice.
—Mao Zedong
When we disagree on something, we should seek a consensus through an exchange of opinions or, if it does not work out, agree to disagreement.Therefore, real friendship does not mean blind agreement with others.On the contrary, if we can tolerate differences without hiding our true thoughts, we have achieved genuine friendship.
Sidebar
The Story of Zhu Xi and Lu Jiuyuan
Zhu Xi and Lu Jiuyuan, both Song dynasty scholars, were staunch academic rivals.While Zhu believed the "principle" as the origin of the universe, Lu proposed the "mind”.The two argued for decades without any one convincing the other.After founding the Academy of the White Deer Cavern, Zhu started his teaching career.To everyone's surprise, he enthusiastically invited Lu, who gladly obliged.Zhu appreciated his rival's contribution so much that he even had Lu's quotations carved on a stone tablet placed at the entrance to the Academy.The story of the two rivals being respectful to each other is a perfect footnote to "seeking harmony but not uniformity”.
Unfortunately, we do see people who, while reluctant to express their ideas in public, play dirty tricks behind the back of others.They would be considered "mean" by ancient Chinese intellectuals.Such mean people, upholding no principle of their own, merely flatter their superiors—they would defend every word of the superior even when it is wrong and dismiss any idea as long as it is different from that of the superior.Although it may appear friendly, it is the most unfriendly thing one can do to others and the society at large because it may lead to chaos.
Sidebar
"Getting Bewildered because of No Advisory Council"
Yanzi was an accomplished statesman, philosopher and diplomat during the Spring and Autumn Period.Once, he visited the court of Lu.There, Duke Ai asked, "In spite of the common saying, ‘Getting bewildered because of not having three persons to consult with, 'why is it that Lu cannot help becoming disorderly, although I consult with the whole nation? " In reply Yanzi said, "The ancient saying, ‘Getting bewildered because of not having three persons to consult with, 'means that as one person may miss the point while the other two may get at it，three persons are sufficient to form an advisory council.Now that the officials throughout the Lu State, numbering hundreds and thousands, all talk in accordance with the private bias of the Ji Clan, though the number of persons is not small, yet what they say is the opinion of one man.Then how can there be three? ”
In addition, equal treatment of people is the prerequisite of friendship, which is equal by nature.A major mark of contemporary society is the disappearance of political gap—every individual enjoys the same civic rights regardless of his position or wealth.Friendship, therefore, is an equal and reciprocal relationship.If a person flatters the rich and powerful while treats the poor and disadvantaged with indifference, he is anything but friendly.
Famous Quotes
If a man be gracious and courteous to strangers, it shows he is a citizen of the world, and that his heart is no island cut off from other lands, but a continent that joins them.
—Francis Bacon
Friendship, as a relationship among equal citizens, should not be confused with the traditional "social relationship" based on kinship or neighborhood.The latter is relationship among acquaintances while the former, among strangers.Unlike the traditional "society of acquaintances”, the contemporary society is characterized by relationships among strangers due to a more refined social division of labor, a growing economy and a much more mobile population.Such a "society of strangers”increases the scope and opportunity of interpersonal communication, but also leads to a higher level of distrust and indifference.It is easy to get along with our family, friends，colleagues and neighbors, but it is much more difficult to be kind to total strangers.Such ancient Chinese sayings as "A bosom friend afar brings a distant land near.”and "There is no stranger in this world, only friends we have not met.”also attest to the principle of befriending strangers. "Treating others as you would treat yourself”implies that you see others as your kind, and regard their thoughts and requests as equally worthy.As Confucius said, "The man of perfect virtue, wishing to be established himself, seeks also to establish others; wishing to be enlarged himself, he seeks also to enlarge others.”
Sidebar
The Story of Turgenev and a Beggar
One day, when Ivan Turgenev was strolling in the street, he was approached by a beggar in rags. "Sir, please spare me some bread, " the beggar said.Unable to find any, Turgenev held the beggar's dirty hand, saying, "Brother, I'm really sorry! ”To his surprise, the beggar stood up and held his hands tightly.Smiling with tears, the beggar replied, "Thank you.This is enough for me.”
Friendship, built on equality, does not distinguish a person's appearance, status or wealth.
Furthermore, friendship is interactive and reciprocal in nature. For a long time, people tended to interpret friendship as "being altruistic", or a one-way street.In a society brimming with love and friendship, every individual is the "giver”and "taker”of kindness at the same time.In fact, compassion and reciprocity make a society sweet.When one is in trouble, others will offer a helping hand.In an unfriendly society, on the other hand, every individual will be the victim of unfriendliness.
Classic Interpretation
One for all, all for one.
—Vladimir Lenin
Famous Quotes
A man without society cannot be happy, just as a plant cannot survive if it is removed from soil.
—Leo Tolstoy
If a man only relies on himself and stays out of touch with the community, he will become a lazy and conservative person.
—Maxim Gorky
When a person labors, he is not only doing so for himself and everyone else, but everyone else is doing so for him as well.
—Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel
We have to acknowledge the importance of "reciprocity" against the background of China's transition from a traditional society to a socialist market economy.The division of labor inevitably results in the interdependence among members of the society.No individual can exist without others and the society at large.In the meantime, in an interest-oriented market economy, the traditional friendship faces even bigger challenge.To avoid "emotional deficiency”, therefore, we should attach greater importance to love and friendship among people.
Link
China Volunteer Service Federation
The China Volunteer Service Federation（CVF）, founded on December 5,2013 in Beijing, is a nonprofit NGO consisting of volunteers and volunteer organizations in China.Its missions are as follows: to popularize the volunteer spirit, cultivate the volunteer culture, conduct volunteer activities, and help foster an environment of "one for all and all for one".Since its foundation, CVF has launched many volunteer initiatives, one of which is the "neighborhood watch”campaign that targets empty nesters, left-behind children, migrant workers, and people with disabilities.
Link
People's Dai ly: Foster an Environment of "One for All and All for One"
Numerous volunteer teams have mushroomed across the country, opening a new chapter of volunteerism in China.
Featuring altruistic and voluntary service, volunteerism cultivates friendly interpersonal relationship, reflects the social responsibility of citizens, and embodies the core Socialist values.
Volunteerism is a major platform to foster an environment of "one for all and all for one".Through volunteer service, we can get in touch with and help people from all walks of life, and in turn, cultivate ourselves.
Volunteerism is a core requirement for such environment.The volunteer spirit, in the form of contribution, friendship, mutual help and progress, not only embodies the traditional Chinese virtues but also aligns with contemporary norms.
As the saying goes, "A bit of fragrance always clings to the hand that gives you roses." Volunteerism is the obligation of you and me.
Finally, we should be kind not only to other people but also to animals and Mother Nature.The world we live in is an equilibrium consisted of an entire food chain that encompasses all animals, plants, and microorganisms.If we fail to maintain such delicate balance, we will suffer in the end.
Sidebar
When the Wolves are killed…
For a long period of time, local people in Xinjiang saw wolves as vermin.Halibieke, a herdsman from Manas County, said he was a member of the "wolf-killing team" around the 1980s.To encourage herdsman to kill more wolves, the local authorities even came up with some incentives—a female sheep will be awarded to anyone who has killed an adult wolf and a lamb for a wolf cub.Thanks to such policy, wolves are more and more difficult to be found in Xinjiang.Consequently, the grasslands saw a drastic increase in herbivorous animals such as rats, hares and Mongolian gazelles.That in turn led to the destruction of grasslands at many locations.People had to invest manpower and money in fighting rats by placing poisonous baits on the grasslands.Unfortunately, predators of rats, such as eagles, foxes and owls, died because of eating such baits.This disrupted the eco-balance even further.
Unfortunately, men are more and more eager to "conquer" nature, severely destroying the ecological system.Such issues as the abuse of fertilizer and pesticide, O-zone layer and global warming have attracted the attention of the world over.The deteriorating environment has threatened the very existence and survival of the human race.We must not be the dictator of nature.Only when we treat nature kindly can we protect our homeland and live a healthy life.