Ease out of Comfort Zones by Taking It S-L-O-W

Most of the time when we identify what we want, we are moving outside our comfort zones. Mary may want better results from team meetings than just sitting and listening. She decides she wants to contribute at least one useful idea in every meeting. She has never spoken up before. The goal in this situation is to create a stretch—a small stretch, not a huge one. Trying to force changes too quickly ignites the amygdala and the emotional response associated with fear and concern, and it releases cortisol, which shuts down learning, focus, and creativity.

Here’s a story that illustrates the process:

Barbara advanced to a new position where she was often going to be speaking to groups. I was teaching two programs on high-impact presentations at the time. One was a 12-week course that broke down the process and guided participants along at a steady pace. This was a great starting point for most people. The other was a two-day workshop where we briefly covered the process of preparing for the presentation and did a little bit of prep work, and then the learners practiced presenting in front of the group numerous times while being videotaped.

Barbara’s company enrolled her in the two-day workshop. When she arrived, it became immediately obvious that even the process of being in the group was outside her comfort zone. When Barbara stepped in front of the group to speak, her physiological response to the experience was obvious on every level. She broke out in a cold sweat, and then this welt worked its way up her neck and ultimately covered her entire face by the time she was finished speaking. It was absolutely painful to watch.

We contacted her organization and said we felt she would do better in the 12-week course. As often happens, the company wanted things to get better quickly because they did not feel they had the time to put her through a 12-week program. They said she was ready and wanted her to stay in the two-day workshop. We had a conversation with her. She said she was willing to stay, but things didn’t improve. Over the course of two days, every single time she spoke, she was clearly outside her comfort zone. There was no way that she was able to grow through the experience. Her natural response to fear kicked in and triggered her amygdala, which shut down creativity and innovation. The organization tried to force her into change too quickly.