复旦大学学生优秀英语作文选评
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Spring

Spring is no longer that shy girl in my memory, who came very late, hesitated in the distance, overwhelmed by shyness until I waved to her.Then she would scurry happily nearer, stop feet away, waiting to be hugged.But here and now, she, at the sight of me, grabs my hands and pulls me into her arms before I know what's happening.

So here I am, a boy accustomed to the drab and dry and dreary spring of the north, devouring the sweetness of a southern one.

It rained days ago and everything glistens with moisture. Trees grow with new leaves of lively light green, not the dull and dusty color of winter.Several cherries are in full blossom now, with flowers clustering and squeezing and squabbling on the twigs.What attract me most are the meadows, the greenishyellow meadows.

Sprawling on the meadows with grasses kissing my face, I can hear the rustling of leaves in the brisk breeze, the whispering 104 and chuckling and bickering of birds, and the trotting, shuffling, tramping of people passing by.

I can smell the refreshing fragrance that pervades the air, fragrance of flowering magnolias and growing grasses and moist soil.I inhale the fresh air as deeply as I can and the aroma invades my whole being.

Also, I can see the fallen leaves of platanes wafting around like butterflies flying from one flower to another.Once so high above on the treetops enduring the trials of bitter cold and blustering gale, they are so easily torn loose by a warm breeze. Why?

I cannot help thinking of our situation.We Chinese defy any powerful enemy, but how come we have been so easily attacked by SARS?

简评

本文通过一个来自北方的男孩的视野,描绘了生机盎然的江南之春。文章一开始,作者就把春天比做一个女孩。在作者的眼中,北方的春天像一个羞涩的女孩,总是姗姗来迟,而南方的春天则俨然是一个热情奔放的女孩。这一对比非常生动。然后作者描绘了雨后的景色:绿色的树叶、红色的樱桃花、绿中带黄的草地,都被赋予人的灵性,flowers clustering and squeezing and squabbling, grasses kissing my face。作者听到了树叶在微风的吹拂下响起的沙沙声,鸟儿的啼叫声,行人的脚步声等;闻到了花草和泥土的芳香;看到了能经受住严寒和大风的树叶如蝴蝶般纷纷落下。由此作者联想到当前的形势:中华民族能不畏强暴,为何如此轻易地受SARS攻击?

本文从视觉、嗅觉和听觉三方面带领读者进入一个春天的世界,全方位地感受春天的气息。文章的一大特色是作者运用了大量象声词,如the rustling of leaves; the whispering and chuckling and bickering of birds; the trotting, shuffling, tramping of people passing by; blustering gale给人以身临其境的感觉。除了贯穿全文的比喻和拟人外,作者还运用了压头韵(alliteration)的修辞手法,如the drab and dry and dreary spring of the north; dull and dusty color; brisk breeze等,读来富有韵律,朗朗上口。最后,作者从观察到的自然现象联想到社会生活,升华了主题。

(点评教师:黄莺)

姓名:崔翱翔

学号:02 1 8706