A Person I Admire—Franklin Roosevelt

Times need heroes, and heroes stand out.Franklin Roosevelt is just a hero of the times.Well known for his unprecedented 13 years as the President of U.S., he is regarded as a savior of America.However, it is not his brilliant achievements that attract me.What I really admire are some qualities shining in his whole life such as fortitude, courage and also his amiability.

His early time, I mean before his forties, was smooth.He was born rich and had a happy marriage.After graduating from Harvard, he served in the Navy.At that time, he had already shown his remarkable leadership and since his uncle was a President, he would surely enter the political arena.But everything changed when he was 39.Healthy and strong as he was, he was attacked by polio after swimming, which caused the life-long deformity in his legs.It was extremely hard for this ambitious man to face the misfortune.He was, of course, in a bad mood and wanted to give up all his dreams at first.Then, after careful thinking, he finally decided to bestir himself.He was not a man easy to surrender.Again he took part in political activities and, at the same time, practiced standing up and then walking with a stick.Eventually this brave man won the battle against fate.He became the only disabled President in American history and unprecedentedly served four terms.All should be attributed to his fortitude.

“The only thing we fear is fear itself.”This famous saying now has spread all over the world and encouraged lots of people. Roosevelt first said it, and as a great leader, he made all his people believe it.He practiced what he preached for he was surely a courageous person challenging the tradition.He formulated new policies to help his nation out of the Depression.He declared war against Fascists though most of the Congressmen opposed him at that time.All proved that he was right for his courage was not rash but based on careful thinking.“A leader is one who dares to dream, and then, dares to achieve.”

He was great, but not great in appearance.He looked like a kind grandpa at the first sight.He initiated the fireside chat to express his ideas and explain his policies in a relaxed atmosphere on radio.He always smiled sincerely when speaking and listening.These didn't lower his prestige but made him amiable and welcome.

He is surely not a perfect man—no one can be perfect. Every age has its hero—in the forefront, just like Franklin Roosevelt—a man I admire.

简评

本文记叙了作者心目中崇拜的人——美国前总统罗斯福。文章主要围绕他的毅力，勇气和和蔼可亲三种品质来展开。首先，作者以平实流畅的语言表现了他得了小儿麻痹症后如何战胜自我，重拾信心，身残志坚，并史无前例地四次当选美国总统的顽强毅力。其次，作者描述了罗斯福总统带领美国人民向传统挑战，度过经济大萧条时期，并不顾多数国会议员的反对向法西斯宣战的巨大勇气。最后，作者又表现了罗斯福总统和蔼可亲的一面，他真诚的笑容和他以炉边谈话的形式通过电波与美国人民在轻松的气氛中进行交流。

本文还引用了罗斯福总统的名言，如“The only thing we fear is fear itself.”, “A leader is one who dares to dream, and then, dares to achieve.”等，增加了文章的说服力。

但文章仍需在以下几个方面有所改进：一、段落之间缺少承上启下的自然衔接（transition），意义的转折显得生硬，比较突然。恰当地运用衔接手段可以将几个段落有机地结合成一个整体。二、段首最好能有依据概括大意，点明中心的主题句（topic sentence），使读者对每一段的内容一目了然。三、第二段对罗斯福生平的介绍稍稍过长，破坏了文章整体的结构平衡，不妨将一些与主题无关的句子删去，效果会更好。

（点评教师：黄莺）

姓名：祝瑾

学号：0026070