Come Fly with Jenny—A Story of My Friend Who Excel

“In the world's broad field of battle

In the bivouac of life

Be not like dumb driven cattle！

Be a hero in the strife! ”

Soft, calm, yet eloquent—that is my friend, Jenny, and that is her words.

No one can avoid the inferiority complex before her, no one, I'm sure.For she is truly an achiever:the winner of 4 academy awards, including physics, mathematics.Incidentally, her score last year stands at 4.0, beyond anyone's wildest dream.

Not solely a scoring machine, Jenny is a payer as well.Unyielding, hard working, always energetic—that's what her success is all about.

Imagine what challenges one has to conquer if born in a poor country.Jenny has met all that obstacles head-on.She is an unyielding girl, with uncanny instincts:thriving in adversity, she can always find a way.It is her fueled indestructible competitive desire that makes a difference.As the saying goes:“when the going gets tough, the tough gets going.”Jenny is such kind of tough people with the burning desire that gets her there.

Mere desire does not help.If desire is the weed that later produces success and achievement, then her daily endeavor is surly the fertile soil in which the weed must grow.A workaholic, she is, indeed.Always the first to get up and the last to sleep, she tries to grasp every precious minute and embodies their genuine merits.She is reading English aloud in the raw, bleak wind while others are dreaming satisfied in their warm, cozy bed; she is savoring the excellent book in the library while others are gossiping a certain dress in the café; she is pursuing true knowledge while others is seeking real love in the charming moonlight.—She delights in making love with the broad unknown world.

Every little excellence of hers is achieved by sacrificing a great many, including friendship and entertainment, like Edison, Ford, Einstein and Freud.

However, the failure of energy, in our eye, seems never disturb her.She is a fountain of vigor, the fountain that never dries up.While strength is usually bound in numbers, hers comes from within.Without regular meals, without appropriate sleep, even without sincere love, but all above are not half so important as compared with the steps she's just made.That is absolutely enough.

Burning desire to win, relentless spirit, endless energy, these are something to savor, as we look forward to more spectacular quality from one of the school's most breath-taking com petitor Jenny.Her tenacious performance earned her“the Best Student of the Year”, the recognition she so richly deserved.

Yesterday's little feather is flying with the wind, becoming today's most captivating Jenny.Let's come fly with her.

简评

“逆境出英才”, Jenny似乎又印证了这句名言。Jenny似乎具备一个成功者所需要的一切条件，勤奋好学、努力刻苦、坚忍不拔、勇往直前。

本文最大的长处是语言的丰富多样，显示出作者良好的文字功底。文中不乏精辟的范例，如：“...her score last year stands at 4.0, beyond anyone's wildest dream”;“She is savoring the excellent book in the library while others are gossiping a certain dress in the café; she is pursuing true knowledge while others are seeking real love in the charming moonlight.”等等。另外，本文的结构也很合理，开篇的引言很好地抓住了读者的注意，结尾也点到了标题，前后呼应。综上所述，本文是一篇可读性较强的文章。

（点评教师：张雪波）

姓名：容小明

学号：02560 1 2