第9章
"And terribly deep in love," said Mr. Woolsworthy. "Oh, I don't know about that," she answered, as she left him with her sweetest smile.
But though she could thus smile at her father's joke, she had already made up her mind that there was still something to be learned as to her promised husband before she could place herself altogether in his hands. She would ask him whether he thought himself liable to injury from this proposed marriage; and though he should deny any such thought, she would know from the manner of his denial what his true feelings were.
And he, too, on that night, during his silent walk with Miss Le Smyrger, had entertained some similar thoughts. "I fear she is obstinate," he said to himself; and then he had half accused her of being sullen also. "If that be her temper, what a life of misery Ihave before me!"
"Have you fixed a day yet?" his aunt asked him as they came near to her house.
"No, not yet; I don't know whether it will suit me to fix it before Ileave."
"Why, it was but the other day you were in such a hurry.""Ah--yes--I have thought more about it since then.""I should have imagined that this would depend on what Patty thinks,"said Miss Le Smyrger, standing up for the privileges of her sex. "It is presumed that the gentleman is always ready as soon as the lady will consent.""Yes, in ordinary cases it is so; but when a girl is taken out of her own sphere--""Her own sphere! Let me caution you, Master John, not to talk to Patty about her own sphere.""Aunt Penelope, as Patience is to be my wife and not yours, I must claim permission to speak to her on such subjects as may seem suitable to me." And then they parted--not in the best humour with each other.
On the following day Captain Broughton and Miss Woolsworthy did not meet till the evening. She had said, before those few ill-omened words had passed her lover's lips, that she would probably be at Miss Le Smyrger's house on the following morning. Those ill-omened words did pass her lover's lips, and then she remained at home. This did not come from sullenness, nor even from anger, but from a conviction that it would be well that she should think much before she met him again.
Nor was he anxious to hurry a meeting. His thought--his base thought--was this; that she would be sure to come up to the Combe after him; but she did not come, and therefore in the evening he went down to her, and asked her to walk with him.
They went away by the path that led to Helpholme, and little was said between them till they had walked some mile together.
Patience, as she went along the path, remembered almost to the letter the sweet words which had greeted her ears as she came down that way with him on the night of his arrival; but he remembered nothing of that sweetness then. Had he not made an ass of himself during these last six months? That was the thought which very much had possession of his mind.
"Patience," he said at last, having hitherto spoken only an indifferent word now and again since they had left the parsonage, "Patience, 1 hope you realise the importance of the step which you and I are about to take?""Of course I do," she answered. "What an odd question that is for you to ask!""Because," said he, "sometimes I almost doubt it. It seems to me as though you thought you could remove yourself from here to your new home with no more trouble than when you go from home up to the Combe.""Is that meant for a reproach, John?"
"No, not for a reproach, but for advice. Certainly not for a reproach.""I am glad of that."
"But I should wish to make you think how great is the leap in the world which you are about to take." Then again they walked on for many steps before she answered him.
"Tell me, then, John," she said, when she had sufficiently considered what words she should speak; and as she spoke a bright colour suffused her face, and her eyes flashed almost with anger. "What leap do you mean? Do you mean a leap upwards?""Well, yes; I hope it will be so."
"In one sense, certainly, it would be a leap upwards. To be the wife of the man I loved; to have the privilege of holding his happiness in my hand; to know that I was his own--the companion whom he had chosen out of all the world--that would, indeed, be a leap upwards; a leap almost to heaven, if all that were so. But if you mean upwards in any other sense--""I was thinking of the social scale."
"Then, Captain Broughton, your thoughts were doing me dishonour.""Doing you dishonour!"
"Yes, doing me dishonour. That your father is, in the world's esteem, a greater man than mine is doubtless true enough. That you, as a man, are richer than I am as a woman, is doubtless also true. But you dishonour me, and yourself also, if these things can weigh with you now.""Patience,--I think you can hardly know what words you are saying to me.""Pardon me, but I think I do. Nothing that you can give me--no gifts of that deion--can weigh aught against that which I am giving you. If you had all the wealth and rank of the greatest lord in the land, it would count as nothing in such a scale. If--as I have not doubted--if in return for my heart you have given me yours, then--then--then you have paid me fully. But when gifts such as those are going, nothing else can count even as a make-weight.""I do not quite understand you," he answered, after a pause. "I fear you are a little high-flown." And then, while the evening was still early, they walked back to the parsonage almost without another word.