第31章 CHAPTER VIII.(1)
Still youth prevailed over all.Ellinor got well,as I have said,even when she would fain have died.And the afternoon came when she left her room.Miss Monro would gladly have made a festival of her recovery,and have had her conveyed into the unused drawing-room.
But Ellinor begged that she might be taken into the library--into the school-room--anywhere (thought she)not looking on the side of the house on the flower-garden,which she had felt in all her illness as a ghastly pressure lying within sight of those very windows,through which the morning sun streamed right upon her bed--like the accusing angel,bringing all hidden things to light.
And when Ellinor was better still,when the Bath-chair had been sent up for her use,by some kindly old maid,out of Hamley,she still petitioned that it might be kept on the lawn or town side of the house,away from the flower-garden.
One day she almost screamed,when,as she was going to the front door,she saw Dixon standing ready to draw her,instead of Fletcher the servant who usually went.But she checked all demonstration of feeling;although it was the first time she had seen him since he and she and one more had worked their hearts out in hard bodily labour.
He looked so stern and ill!Cross,too,which she had never seen him before.
As soon as they were out of immediate sight of the windows,she asked him to stop,forcing herself to speak to him.
"Dixon,you look very poorly,"she said,trembling as she spoke.
"Ay!"said he."We didn't think much of it at the time,did we,Miss Nelly?But it'll be the death on us,I'm thinking.It has aged me above a bit.All my fifty years afore were but as a forenoon of child's play to that night.Measter,too--I could a-bear a good deal,but measter cuts through the stable-yard,and past me,wi'out a word,as if I was poison,or a stinking foumart.It's that as is worst,Miss Nelly,it is."And the poor man brushed some tears from his eyes with the back of his withered,furrowed hand.Ellinor caught the infection,and cried outright,sobbed like a child,even while she held out her little white thin hand to his grasp.For as soon as he saw her emotion,he was penitent for what he had said.
"Don't now--don't,"was all he could think of to say.
"Dixon!"said she at length,"you must not mind it.You must try not to mind it.I see he does not like to be reminded of that,even by seeing me.He tries never to be alone with me.My poor old Dixon,it has spoilt my life for me;for I don't think he loves me any more."She sobbed as if her heart would break;and now it was Dixon's turn to be comforter.
"Ah,dear,my blessing,he loves you above everything.It's only he can't a-bear the sight of us,as is but natural.And if he doesn't fancy being alone with you,there's always one as does,and that's a comfort at the worst of times.And don't ye fret about what I said a minute ago.I were put out because measter all but pushed me out of his way this morning,without never a word.But I were an old fool for telling ye.And I've really forgotten why I told Fletcher I'd drag ye a bit about to-day.Th'gardener is beginning for to wonder as you don't want to see th'annuals and bedding-out things as you were so particular about in May.And I thought I'd just have a word wi'ye,and then if you'd let me,we'd go together just once round the flower-garden,just to say you've been,you know,and to give them chaps a bit of praise.You'll only have to look on the beds,my pretty,and it must be done some time.So come along!"He began to pull resolutely in the direction of the flower-garden.
Ellinor bit her lips to keep in the cry of repugnance that rose to them.As Dixon stopped to unlock the door,he said:
"It's not hardness,nothing like it;I've waited till I heerd you were better;but it's in for a penny in for a pound wi'us all;and folk may talk;and bless your little brave heart,you'll stand a deal for your father's sake,and so will I,though I do feel it above a bit,when he puts out his hand as if to keep me off,and I only going to speak to him about Clipper's knees;though I'll own I had wondered many a day when I was to have the good-morrow master never missed sin'he were a boy till--Well!and now you've seen the beds,and can say they looked mighty pretty,and is done all as you wished;and we're got out again,and breathing fresher air than yon sunbaked hole,with its smelling flowers,not half so wholesome to snuff at as good stable-dung."So the good man chatted on;not without the purpose of giving Ellinor time to recover herself;and partly also to drown his own cares,which lay heavier on his heart than he could say.But he thought himself rewarded by Ellinor's thanks,and warm pressure of his hard hand as she got out at the front door,and bade him good-by.
The break to her days of weary monotony was the letters she constantly received from Mr.Corbet.And yet here again lurked the sting.He was all astonishment and indignation at Mr.Dunster's disappearance,or rather flight,to America.And now that she was growing stronger,he did not scruple to express curiosity respecting the details,never doubting but that she was perfectly acquainted with much that he wanted to know;although he had too much delicacy to question her on the point which was most important of all in his eyes,namely,how far it had affected Mr.Wilkins's worldly prospects;for the report prevalent in Hamley had reached London,that Mr.Dunster had made away with,or carried off,trust property to a considerable extent,for all which Mr.Wilkins would of course be liable.