第29章 PART THE FIRST(25)
Answer.--Listen to my words with sorrowful compassion.When my tender Child had expired,and when He hung suspended before me,and all the strength of my heart was utterly broken,though I could do nothing else,I yet cast many a glance up at my dead Child.And when they came to take Him down,it was as if I had been roused from the dead.With what motherly love did I not press them to my blood-stained cheeks,and when He was lowered down to me,how affectionately beyond measure did I not embrace Him,dead as He was in my arms;how did I not strain to my heart my only love elect,and kiss again and again the fresh bleeding wounds of His face!And yet,with what revishing beauty His entire body was transformed,all hearts could not sufficiently contemplate.Then did I take my tender Child on to my lap,and look at Him.I looked at Him,and He was dead!I looked at Him again and again,but He had neither voice nor consciousness.Then did I fetch many a deep and heart-rending sigh,my eyes shed many tears,my whole figure was deplorable to see,scarcely had my doleful words reached my lips,when they were choked by grief,and only half expressed.Alas,alas,cried I,whenever was anyone so cruelly used on earth as Thou,my innocent and beloved Child!
Alas,my Child,my only consolation,my only joy,how art Thou changed for me into a source of much bitterness!Where is now the joy I experienced at Thy birth?Where the delight I had in Thy childhood?Where the honour and dignity I had in Thy presence?Whither is all gone that could ravish my heart?Oh sorrow!Oh anguish!Oh bitterness!Oh desolation of heart!truly is everything transformed into an unfathomable desolation of heart,into a mortal agony!Alas,Thou Child of mine,how am I so shorn of all love,how has my heart become utterly disconsolate!Such,and many such words of lamentation did I utter,because of my deceased Child.
The Servant.--Oh,pure and beautiful Mother,permit me once more to console my heart in this moment with thy dear Child,my Lord,the Eternal Wisdom,before the hour of separation comes,before He is snatched away from us to the grave.Immaculate Mother!however unfathomable thy heart's affliction way,however strongly it may touch all other hearts,thou didst yet,methinks,find some pleasure in the affectionate embracing of thy deceased Child.Oh,pure and gentle Lady,I desire that thou wouldst offer me thy dear Child,as He appeared in death,on the lap of my soul,so that I may experience,according to my ability,in spirit and meditation,what thou didst in thy body.Lord,my eyes are turned to Thee in the most rapturous joy and in deepest,heart-felt love,such as no only love was ever regarded with by the beloved.Lord,my soul expands to Thy embrace even as the tender rose expands to the pure sun's brightness.Lord,my soul stretches out her arms to Thee with infinite desire.Oh,my loving Lord,with ardent desire I embrace Thee today,and press Thee to the bottom of my heart and soul,and put Thee in mind of the loving hour of Thy death,that Thou mayest never allow it to be lost in me;and I request that neither life,nor death,nor joy,nor sorrow,may ever separate Thee from me.Lord,my eyes contemplate Thy dead countenance,my soul kisses again and again all Thy fresh bleeding wounds,all my senses are fed with this sweet fruit beneath the living tree of the cross;and it is reasonable,for this person consoles himself with his innocent life,the other with his great exercises and strict conduct;
the one with this,the other with that;but,as for me,all my consolation,all my trust,are lodged wholly in Thy Passion,in Thy satisfaction and merited reward,and therefore,I shall at all times carry Thy Passion joyfully in the bottom of my heart,and show the image of it outwardly,in words and deeds,to the utmost of my ability.
Oh,enchanting brightness of eternal light,how art Thou now for me utterly extinguished!Extinguish in me the burning lust of all vice.
Oh,pure transparent mirror of divine majesty,how art Thou now defiled!Cleanse away the great stains of my evil deeds!
Oh,beautiful image of paternal goodness,how art Thou befouled and utterly defaced!Restore the defaced and faded image of my soul!
Oh,Thou innocent Lamb,how wretchedly art Thou used!Amend and atone for my guilty,sinful life!
Oh,Thou King of all kings,and Lord of all lords,how does my soul see Thee lying here in so lamentable and ghastly a plight!Grant,that since my soul now embraces Thee with sorrow and lamentation in Thy dereliction,she may be embraced by Thee with joy in Thy everlasting glory.Amen.
CHAPTER XX.On The Lamentable Separation of the Grave The Servant.
--Now,tender Lady,put an end to thy sorrow and thy sad recital,and tell me how thou didst separate from thy Beloved.
Answer.--It was a misery to see and hear.Alas,all was yet supportable,while I had my Child with me;but when they tore my dead Child from my blighted heart,from my embracing arms,from my face pressed to His,and buried Him,what a wailing I set up in that hour would hardly be believed;and then when it came to the separation,oh,what an agony,what woe,were seen in me!For when they separated me from my Beloved,the separating wrestled with my heart like bitter death.Supported by their hands who led me away,I walked with tottering steps,for I was robbed of all consolation,my heart longed woefully to return to my Love,my confidence was wholly set in Him,I rendered Him alone of all mankind entire fidelity and true attachment,even to the grave.
The Servant.--Oh,affectionate and tender Lady,for this do all hearts greet thee,all tongues praise thee,since all the good that the Fatherly heart has vouchsafed to give us,flowed through thy hands.Thou are the beginning,thou art the means,thou shalt also be the end.Alas,pure and tender Mother,let me remind thee today of thy miserable separation;think of thy bitter separating from thy tender Child,and help me that I may not be separated either from thee or from His joyous countenance.
Yes,pure Mother,even as my soul now stands by thee with compassionate sympathy,and embraces thee with ardent desire,and,in contemplation with heartfelt desire,with thanksgiving and praise,leads thee from the sepuchre through the gate of Jerusalem back again to thy house,so do I crave that,at my last departure,my soul may be again led by thee,O pure and tender Mother,to its Fatherland,and there be confirmed in everlasting bliss.
Amen.