第36章 PART SECOND(2)

They may or may not have known the deference with which he treated Alma's work;but the girl herself felt that his abrupt,impersonal comment recognized her as a real sister in art.He told her she ought to come to New York,and draw in the League,or get into some painter's private class;and it was the sense of duty thus appealed to which finally resulted in the hazardous experiment she and her mother were now making.

There were no logical breaks in the chain of their reasoning from past success with boarders in St.Barnaby to future success with boarders in New York.Of course the outlay was much greater.The rent of the furnished house they had taken was such that if they failed their experiment would be little less than ruinous.

But they were not going to fail;that was what Alma contended,with a hardy courage that her mother sometimes felt almost invited failure,if it did not deserve it.She was one of those people who believe that if you dread harm enough it is less likely to happen.She acted on this superstition as if it were a religion.

"If it had not been for my despair,as you call it,Alma,"she answered,"I don't know where we should have been now.""I suppose we should have been in St.Barnaby,"said the girl."And if it's worse to be in New York,you see what your despair's done,mamma.

But what's the use?You meant well,and I don't blame you.You can't expect even despair to come out always just the way you want it.Perhaps you've used too much of it."The girl laughed,and Mrs.Leighton laughed,too.Like every one else,she was not merely a prevailing mood,as people are apt to be in books,but was an irregularly spheroidal character,with surfaces that caught the different lights of circumstance and reflected them.Alma got up and took a pose before the mirror,which she then transferred to her sketch.The room was pinned about with other sketches,which showed with fantastic indistinctness in the shaded gaslight.Alma held up the drawing."How do you like it?"Mrs.Leighton bent forward over her sewing to look at it."You've got the man's face rather weak.""Yes,that's so.Either I see all the hidden weakness that's in men's natures,and bring it to the surface in their figures,or else I put my own weakness into them.Either way,it's a drawback to their presenting a truly manly appearance.As long as I have one of the miserable objects before me,I can draw him;but as soon as his back's turned I get to putting ladies into men's clothes.I should think you'd be scandalized,mamma,if you were a really feminine person.It must be your despair that helps you to bear up.But what's the matter with the young lady in young lady's clothes?Any dust on her?""What expressions!"said Mrs.Leighton."Really,Alma,for a refined girl you are the most unrefined!""Go on--about the girl in the picture!"said Alma,slightly knocking her mother on the shoulder,as she stood over her.

"I don't see anything to her.What's she doing?""Oh,just being made love to,I suppose.""She's perfectly insipid!"

"You're awfully articulate,mamma!Now,if Mr.Wetmore were to criticise that picture he'd draw a circle round it in the air,and look at it through that,and tilt his head first on one side and then on the other,and then look at you,as if you were a figure in it,and then collapse awhile,and moan a little and gasp,'Isn't your young lady a little too-too--'and then he'd try to get the word out of you,and groan and suffer some more;and you'd say,'She is,rather,'and that would give him courage,and he'd say,'I don't mean that she's so very--''Of course not.''You understand?''Perfectly.I see it myself,now.''Well,then'---and he'd take your pencil and begin to draw--'I should give her a little more--Ah?''Yes,I see the difference.''You see the difference?'

And he'd go off to some one else,and you'd know that you'd been doing the wishy-washiest thing in the world,though he hadn't spoken a word of criticism,and couldn't.But he wouldn't have noticed the expression at all;he'd have shown you where your drawing was bad.He doesn't care for what he calls the literature of a thing;he says that will take care of itself if the drawing's good.He doesn't like my doing these chic things;but I'm going to keep it up,for I think it's the nearest way to illustrating."She took her sketch and pinned it up on the door.

"And has Mr.Beaton been about,yet?"asked her mother.

"No,"said the girl,with her back still turned;and she added,"I believe he's in New York;Mr.Wetmore's seen him.""It's a little strange he doesn't call."

"It would be if he were not an artist.But artists never do anything like other people.He was on his good behavior while he was with us,and he's a great deal more conventional than most of them;but even he can't keep it up.That's what makes me really think that women can never amount to anything in art.They keep all their appointments,and fulfil all their duties just as if they didn't know anything about art.Well,most of them don't.We've got that new model to-day.""What new model?"

"The one Mr.Wetmore was telling us about the old German;he's splendid.

He's got the most beautiful head;just like the old masters'things.He used to be Humphrey Williams's model for his Biblical-pieces;but since he's dead,the old man hardly gets anything to do.Mr.Wetmore says there isn't anybody in the Bible that Williams didn't paint him as.

He's the Law and the Prophets in all his Old Testament pictures,and he's Joseph,Peter,Judas Iscariot,and the Scribes and Pharisees in the New.""It's a good thing people don't know how artists work,or some of the most sacred pictures would have no influence,"said Mrs.Leighton.

"Why,of course not!"cried the girl."And the influence is the last thing a painter thinks of--or supposes he thinks of.What he knows he's anxious about is the drawing and the color.But people will never understand how simple artists are.When I reflect what a complex and sophisticated being I am,I'm afraid I can never come to anything in art.