第18章

Enormous trains, enormous waggons, with beds and lavatories, and negroes who brush you with a big broom, as if they were grooming a horse.A bounding movement, a roaring noise, a crowd of people who look horribly tired, a boy who passes up and down throwing pamphlets and sweetmeats into your lap--that is an American journey.There are windows in the waggons--enormous, like everything else; but there is nothing to see.The country is a void--no features, no objects, no details, nothing to show you that you are in one place more than another.Aussi, you are not in one place, you are everywhere, anywhere; the train goes a hundred miles an hour.The cities are all the same; little houses ten feet high, or else big ones two hundred; tramways, telegraph-poles, enormous signs, holes in the pavement, oceans of mud, commis-voyageurs, young ladies looking for the husband.On the other hand, no beggars and no cocottes--none, at least, that you see.A colossal mediocrity, except (my brother-in-law tells me) in the machinery, which is magnificent.Naturally, no architecture (they make houses of wood and of iron), no art, no literature, no theatre.I have opened some of the books; mais ils ne se laissent pas lire.No form, no matter, no style, no general ideas! they seem to be written for children and young ladies.The most successful (those that they praise most) are the facetious; they sell in thousands of editions.I have looked into some of the most vantes; but you need to be forewarned, to know that they are amusing; des plaisanteries de croquemort.They have a novelist with pretensions to literature, who writes about the chase for the husband and the adventures of the rich Americans in our corrupt old Europe, where their primaeval candour puts the Europeans to shame.C'est proprement ecrit; but it's terribly pale.What isn't pale is the newspapers--enormous, like everything else (fifty columns of advertisements), and full of the commerages of a continent.And such a tone, grand Dieu! The amenities, the personalities, the recriminations, are like so many coups de revolver.Headings six inches tall; correspondences from places one never heard of; telegrams from Europe about Sarah Bernhardt; little paragraphs about nothing at all; the menu of the neighbour's dinner;articles on the European situation a pouffer de rire; all the tripotage of local politics.The reportage is incredible; I am chased up and down by the interviewers.The matrimonial infelicities of M.and Madame X.(they give the name), tout au long, with every detail--not in six lines, discreetly veiled, with an art of insinuation, as with us; but with all the facts (or the fictions), the letters, the dates, the places, the hours.I open a paper at hazard, and I find au beau milieu, a propos of nothing, the announcement--"Miss Susan Green has the longest nose in Western New York." Miss Susan Green (je me renseigne) is a celebrated authoress; and the Americans have the reputation of spoiling their women.They spoil them a coups de poing.We have seen few interiors (no one speaks French); but if the newspapers give an idea of the domestic moeurs, the moeurs must be curious.The passport is abolished, but they have printed my signalement in these sheets,--perhaps for the young ladies who look for the husband.We went one night to the theatre; the piece was French (they are the only ones), but the acting was American--too American; we came out in the middle.The want of taste is incredible.An Englishman whom I met tells me that even the language corrupts itself from day to day; an Englishman ceases to understand.It encourages me to find that I am not the only one.There are things every day that one can't describe.Such is Washington, where we arrived this morning, coming from Philadelphia.My brother-in-law wishes to see the Bureau of Patents, and on our arrival he went to look at his machines, while Iwalked about the streets and visited the Capitol! The human machine is what interests me most.I don't even care for the political--for that's what they call their Government here--"the machine." It operates very roughly, and some day, evidently, it will explode.It is true that you would never suspect that they have a government;this is the principal seat, but, save for three or four big buildings, most of them affreux, it looks like a settlement of negroes.No movement, no officials, no authority, no embodiment of the state.Enormous streets, comme toujours, lined with little red houses where nothing ever passes but the tramway.The Capitol--a vast structure, false classic, white marble, iron and stucco, which has assez grand air--must be seen to be appreciated.The goddess of liberty on the top, dressed in a bear's skin; their liberty over here is the liberty of bears.You go into the Capitol as you would into a railway station; you walk about as you would in the Palais Royal.No functionaries, no door-keepers, no officers, no uniforms, no badges, no restrictions, no authority--nothing but a crowd of shabby people circulating in a labyrinth of spittoons.We are too much governed, perhaps, in France; but at least we have a certain incarnation of the national conscience, of the national dignity.

The dignity is absent here, and I am told that the conscience is an abyss."L'etat c'est moi" even--I like that better than the spittoons.These implements are architectural, monumental; they are the only monuments.En somme, the country is interesting, now that we too have the Republic; it is the biggest illustration, the biggest warning.It is the last word of democracy, and that word is--flatness.It is very big, very rich, and perfectly ugly.AFrenchman couldn't live here; for life with us, after all, at the worst is a sort of appreciation.Here, there is nothing to appreciate.As for the people, they are the English MINUS the conventions.You can fancy what remains.The women, pourtant, are sometimes--rather well turned.There was one at Philadelphia--Imade her acquaintance by accident--whom it is probable I shall see again.She is not looking for the husband; she has already got one.

It was at the hotel; I think the husband doesn't matter.AFrenchman, as I have said, may mistake, and he needs to be sure he is right.Aussi, I always make sure!