第23章 THE PAPYRUS(10)

Go! I do not doubt your power.But know, Paphnutius, that you should neither despise me nor hate me.I have never, like many of the men Iknow, laughed at your voluntary poverty.In your turn, do not make a crime of my riches.I am beautiful, and clever in acting.I no more chose my condition than my nature.I was made for that which I do.Iwas born to charm men.And you yourself, did you not say just now that you loved me? Do not use your science against me.Do not pronounce magic words which would destroy my beauty, or change me into a statue of salt.Do not terrify me! I am already too frightened.Do not kill me! I am so afraid of death."He made a sign to her to rise, and said--"Child, have no fear.I will utter no word of shame or scorn.I come on behalf of Him who sat on the edge of the well, and drank of the pitcher which the woman of Samaria offered to Him; and who, also, when He supped at the house of Simon, received the perfumes of Mary.I am not without sin that I should throw the first stone.I have often badly employed the abundant grace which God has bestowed upon me.It was not anger, but pity, which took me by the hand to conduct me here.

I can, without deceit, address thee in words of love, for it is the zeal in my heart which has brought me to thee.I burn with the fire of charity, and if thy eyes, accustomed only to the gross sights of the flesh, could see things in their mystic aspect, I should appear unto thee as a branch broken off the burning bush which the Lord showed on the mountain to Moses of old, that he might understand true love--that which envelops us, and which, so far from leaving behind it mere coals and ashes, purifies and perfumes for ever that which it penetrates.""I believe you, monk, and no longer fear either deceit or ill-will from you.I have often heard talk of the hermits of the Thebaid.

Marvellous things have been told concerning Anthony and Paul.Your name is not unknown to me, and I have heard say that, though you are still young, you equal in virtue the oldest anchorites.As soon as Isaw you, and without knowing who you were, I felt that you were no ordinary man.Tell me! can you do for me that which neither the priests of Isis, nor of Hermes, nor of the celestial Juno, nor the Chaldean soothsayers, nor the Babylonian magi have been able to effect? Monk, if you love me, can you prevent me from dying?""Woman, whosoever wishes to live shall live.Flee from the abominable delights in which thou diest for ever.Snatch from the devils, who will burn it most horribly, that body which God kneaded with His spittle and animated with his own breath.Thou art consumed with weariness; come, and refresh thyself at the blessed springs of solitude; come and drink of those fountains which are hidden in the desert, and which gush forth to heaven.Careworn soul, come, and possess that which thou desirest! Heart greedy for joy, come and taste true joys--poverty, retirement, self-forgetfulness, seclusion in the bosom of God.Enemy of Christ now, and to-morrow His well-beloved, come to Him! Come, thou whom I have sought, and thou wilt say, 'I have found love!' "Thais seemed lost in meditation on things afar.

"Monk," she asked, "if I adjure all pleasures and do penance, is it true that I shall be born again in heaven, my body intact in all its beauty?""Thais, I bring thee eternal life.Believe me, for that which Iannounce to thee is the truth."

"Who will assure me that it is the truth?""David and the prophets, the Scriptures, and the wonders that thou shalt behold.""Monk, I should like to believe you, for I must confess that I have not found happiness in this world.My lot in life is better than that of a queen, and yet I have many bitternesses and misfortunes, and I am infinitely weary of my existence.All women envy me, and yet sometimes I have envied the lot of a toothless old woman who, when I was a child, sold honey-cakes under one of the city gates.Often has the idea flashed across my mind that only the poor are good, happy, and blessed, and that there must be great gladness in living humble and obscure.Monk, you have agitated a storm in my soul, and brought to the surface that which lay at the bottom.Who am I to believe, alas!

and what is to become of me--and what is life?"Whilst she thus spoke, Paphnutius was transfigured; celestial joy beamed in his face.