第79章

She sat beside me on the bench,obscured,yet the warm night quivered with her presence.I felt her tremble....I remember the first exquisite touch of her soft cheek.How strange it was that in conquest the tumult of my being should be stilled,that my passion should be transmuted into awe that thrilled yet disquieted!What had I done?It was as though I had suddenly entered an unimagined sanctuary filled with holy flame....

Presently,when we began to talk,I found myself seeking more familiar levels.I asked her why she had so long resisted me,accusing her of having loved me all the time.

"Yes,I think I did,Hugh.Only--I didn't know it.""You must have felt something,that afternoon when I first proposed to you!""You didn't really want me,Hugh.Not then."Surprised,and a little uncomfortable at this evidence of intuition,Istarted to protest.It seemed to me then as though I had always wanted her.

"No,no,"she exclaimed,"you didn't.You were carried away by your feelings--you hadn't made up your mind.Indeed,I can't see why you want me now.""You believe I do,"I said,and drew her toward me.

"Yes,I--I believe it,now.But I can't see why.There must be so many attractive girls in the city,who know so much more than I do."I sought fervidly to reassure her on this point....At length when we went into the house she drew away from me at arm's length and gave me one long searching look,as though seeking to read my soul.

"Hugh,you will always love me--to the very end,won't you?""Yes,"I whispered,"always."In the library,one on each side of the table,under the lamp,Ezra Hutchins and his wife sat reading.Mrs.Hutchins looked up,and I saw that she had divined.

"Mother,I am engaged to Hugh,"Maude said,and bent over and kissed her.

Ezra and I stood gazing at them.Then he turned to me and pressed my hand.

"Well,I never saw the man who was good enough for her,Hugh.But God bless you,my son.I hope you will prize her as we prize her."Mrs.Hutchins embraced me.And through her tears she,too,looked long into my face.When she had released me Ezra had his watch in his hand.

"If you're going on the ten o'clock train,Hugh--""Father!"Maude protested,laughing,"I must say I don't call that very polite."...

In the train I slept but fitfully,awakening again and again to recall the extraordinary fact that I was now engaged to be married,to go over the incidents of the evening.Indifferent to the backings and the bumpings of the car,the voices in the stations,the clanging of locomotive bells and all the incomprehensible startings and stoppings,exalted yet troubled I beheld Maude luminous with the love I had amazingly awakened,a love somewhere beyond my comprehension.For her indeed marriage was made in heaven.But for me?Could I rise now to the ideal that had once been mine,thrust henceforth evil out of my life?

Love forever,live always in this sanctuary she had made for me?Would the time come when I should feel a sense of bondage?...

The wedding was set for the end of September.I continued to go every week to Elkington,and in August,Maude and I spent a fortnight at the sea.There could be no doubt as to my mother's happiness,as to her approval of Maude;they loved each other from the beginning.I can picture them now,sitting together with their sewing on the porch of the cottage at Mattapoisett.Out on the bay little white-caps danced in the sunlight,sail-boats tacked hither and thither,the strong cape breeze,laden with invigorating salt,stirred Maude's hair,and occasionally played havoc with my papers.

"She is just the wife for you,Hugh,"my mother confided to me."If Ihad chosen her myself I could not have done better,"she added,with a smile.

I was inclined to believe it,but Maude would have none of this illusion.

"He just stumbled across me,"she insisted....

We went on long sails together,towards Wood's Hole and the open sea,the sprays washing over us.Her cheeks grew tanned....Sometimes,when Ipraised her and spoke confidently of our future,she wore a troubled expression.

"What are you thinking about?"I asked her once.

"You mustn't put me on a pedestal,"she said gently."I want you to see me as I am--I don't want you to wake up some day and be disappointed.

I'll have to learn a lot of things,and you'll have to teach me.I can't get used to the fact that you,who are so practical and successful in business,should be such a dreamer where I am concerned."I laughed,and told her,comfortably,that she was talking nonsense.

"What did you think of me,when you first knew me?"I inquired.

"Well,"she answered,with the courage that characterized her,"I thought you were rather calculating,that you put too high a price on success.

Of course you attracted me.I own it."

"You hid your opinions rather well,"I retorted,somewhat discomfited.

She flushed.

"Have you changed them?"I demanded.

"I think you have that side,and I think it a weak side,Hugh.It's hard to tell you this,but it's better to say so now,since you ask me.I do think you set too high a value on success.'

"Well,now that I know what success really is,perhaps I shall reform,"Itold her.

"I don't like to think that you fool yourself,"she replied,with a perspicacity I should have found extraordinary.