第62章 ALICIA'S DIARY(37)

'The next day,having written some letters,he went out and made known at the office of the town "Guide"and of the newspaper,that a teacher of French and calligraphy had arrived,leaving a card at the bookseller's to the same effect.He then walked on aimlessly,but at length inquired the way to General Newbold's.At the door,without giving his name,he asked to see Mademoiselle V--,and was shown into a little back parlour,where she came to him with a gaze of surprise.

'"My God!Why do you intrude here,Monsieur?"she gasped in French as soon as she saw his face.

'"You were taken ill yesterday.I helped you.You might have been run over if I had not picked you up.It was an act of simple humanity certainly;but I thought I might come to ask if you had recovered?"

'She had turned aside,and had scarcely heard a word of his speech.

"I hate you,infamous man!"she said."I cannot bear your helping me.Go away!"

'"But you are a stranger to me."

'"I know you too well!"

'"You have the advantage then,Mademoiselle.I am a newcomer here.

I never have seen you before to my knowledge;and I certainly do not,could not,hate you."

'"Are you not Monsieur B--?"

'He flinched."I am--in Paris,"he said."But here I am Monsieur G--."

'"That is trivial.You are the man I say you are."

'"How did you know my real name,Mademoiselle?"

'"I saw you in years gone by,when you did not see me.You were formerly Member of the Committee of Public Safety,under the Convention."

"I was."

'"You guillotined my father,my brother,my uncle--all my family,nearly,and broke my mother's heart.They had done nothing but keep silence.Their sentiments were only guessed.Their headless corpses were thrown indiscriminately into the ditch of the Mousseaux Cemetery,and destroyed with lime."

'He nodded.

'"You left me without a friend,and here I am now,alone in a foreign land."

'"I am sorry for you,"said be."Sorry for the consequence,not for the intent.What I did was a matter of conscience,and,from a point of view indiscernible by you,I did right.I profited not a farthing.But I shall not argue this.You have the satisfaction of seeing me here an exile also,in poverty,betrayed by comrades,as friendless as yourself."

'"It is no satisfaction to me,Monsieur."

'"Well,things done cannot be altered.Now the question:are you quite recovered?"

'"Not from dislike and dread of you--otherwise,yes."

'"Good morning,Mademoiselle."

'"Good morning."

'They did not meet again till one evening at the theatre (which my mother's friend was with great difficulty induced to frequent,to perfect herself in English pronunciation,the idea she entertained at that time being to become a teacher of English in her own country later on).She found him sitting next to her,and it made her pale and restless.

'"You are still afraid of me?"

'"I am.O cannot you understand!"

'He signified the affirmative.

'"I follow the play with difficulty,"he said,presently.

'"So do I--NOW,"said she.

'He regarded her long,and she was conscious of his look;and while she kept her eyes on the stage they filled with tears.Still she would not move,and the tears ran visibly down her cheek,though the play was a merry one,being no other than Mr.Sheridan's comedy of "The Rivals,"with Mr.S.Kemble as Captain Absolute.He saw her distress,and that her mind was elsewhere;and abruptly rising from his seat at candle-snuffing time he left the theatre.

'Though he lived in the old town,and she in the new,they frequently saw each other at a distance.One of these occasions was when she was on the north side of the harbour,by the ferry,waiting for the boat to take her across.He was standing by Cove Row,on the quay opposite.Instead of entering the boat when it arrived she stepped back from the quay;but looking to see if he remained she beheld him pointing with his finger to the ferry-boat.

'"Enter!"he said,in a voice loud enough to reach her.

'Mademoiselle V--stood still.

'"Enter!"he said,and,as she did not move,he repeated the word a third time.

'She had really been going to cross,and now approached and stepped down into the boat.Though she did not raise her eyes she knew that he was watching her over.At the landing steps she saw from under the brim of her hat a hand stretched down.The steps were steep and slippery.

'"No,Monsieur,"she said."Unless,indeed,you believe in God,and repent of your evil past!"

'"I am sorry you were made to suffer.But I only believe in the god called Reason,and I do not repent.I was the instrument of a national principle.Your friends were not sacrificed for any ends of mine."

'She thereupon withheld her hand,and clambered up unassisted.He went on,ascending the Look-out Hill,and disappearing over the brow.

Her way was in the same direction,her errand being to bring home the two young girls under her charge,who had gone to the cliff for an airing.When she joined them at the top she saw his solitary figure at the further edge,standing motionless against the sea.All the while that she remained with her pupils he stood without turning,as if looking at the frigates in the roadstead,but more probably in meditation,unconscious where he was.In leaving the spot one of the children threw away half a sponge-biscuit that she had been eating.

Passing near it he stooped,picked it up carefully,and put it in his pocket.

'Mademoiselle V--came homeward,asking herself,"Can he be starving?"

'From that day he was invisible for so long a time that she thought he had gone away altogether.But one evening a note came to her,and she opened it trembling.

'"I am here ill,"it said,"and,as you know,alone.There are one or two little things I want done,in case my death should occur,--and I should prefer not to ask the people here,if it could be avoided.

Have you enough of the gift of charity to come and carry out my wishes before it is too late?"