第173章 CHAPTER XXXVIII(2)
Publicly he assigned no reason for this except his conviction that he could not discharge as he ought,and as he would once have done,duties which he held so sacred and indispensable.His letter,brief and simple,thanking his "good neighbours,"and wishing them "a younger and worthier"member,might be found in some old file of the Norton Bury Herald still.Even the Norton Bury Mercury,in reprinting it,commented on its touching honesty and brevity,and--concluding his political career was ended with it--condescended to bestow on Mr.Halifax the usual obituary line--"We could have better spared a better man."
When his family,and even his wife,reasoned with him,knowing that to enter Parliament had long been his thought,nay,his desire,and perhaps herself taking a natural pride in the idea of seeing M.P.--M.P.of a new and unbribed House of Commons--after his well-beloved name;to us and to her he gave no clearer motive for his refusal than to the electors of Norton Bury.
"But you are not old,John,"I argued with him one day;"you possess to the full the mens sana in corpore sano.No man can be more fitted than yourself to serve his country,as you used to say it might be served,and you yourself might serve it,after Reform was gained."He smiled,and jocularly thanked me for my good opinion.
"Nay,such service is almost your duty;you yourself once thought so too.Why have you changed your mind?""I have not changed my mind,but circumstances have changed my actions.As for duty--duty begins at home.Believe me,I have thought well over the subject.Brother,we will not refer to it again."I saw that something in the matter pained him,and obeyed his wish.
Even when,a few days after,perhaps as some compensation for the mother's disappointment,he gave this hint of Guy's taking his place and entering Parliament in his room.
For any one--nay,his own son--to take John's place,to stand in John's room,was not a pleasant thought,even in jest;we let it pass by unanswered,and John himself did not recur to it.
Thus time went on,placidly enough;the father and mother changed into grandfather and grandmother,and little Maud into Auntie Maud.
She bore her new honours and fulfilled her new duties with great delight and success.She had altered much of late years:at twenty was as old as many a woman of thirty--in all the advantages of age.
She was sensible,active,resolute,and wise;sometimes thoughtful,or troubled with fits of what in any less wholesome temperament would have been melancholy;but as it was,her humours only betrayed themselves in some slight restlessness or irritability,easily soothed by a few tender words or a rush out to Edwin's,and a peaceful coming back to that happy home,whose principal happiness she knew that she,the only daughter,made.
She more than once had unexceptionable chances of quitting it;for Miss Halifax possessed plenty of attractions,both outwardly and inwardly,to say nothing of her not inconsiderable fortune.But she refused all offers,and to the best of our knowledge was a free-hearted damsel still.Her father and mother seemed rather glad of this than otherwise.They would not have denied her any happiness she wished for;still it was evidently a relief to them that she was slow in choosing it;slow in quitting their arms of love to risk a love untried.Sometimes,such is the weakness of parental humanity,I verily believe they looked forward with complacency to the possibility of her remaining always Miss Halifax.I remember one day,when Lady Oldtower was suggesting--half jest,half earnest--"better any marriage than no marriage at all;"Maud's father replied,very seriously--"Better no marriage,than any marriage that is less than the best.""How do you mean?"
"I believe,"he said,smiling,"that somewhere in the world every man has his right wife,every woman her right husband.If my Maud's come he shall have her.If not,I shall be well content to see her a happy old maid."Thus after many storms,came this lull in our lives;a season of busy yet monotonous calm,--I have heard say that peace itself,to be perfect,ought to be monotonous.We had enough of it to satisfy our daily need;we looked forward to more of it in time to come,when Guy should be at home,when we should see safely secured the futures of all the children,and for ourselves a green old age,"Journeying in long serenity away."A time of heavenly calm--which as I look back upon it grows heavenlier still!Soft summer days and autumn afternoons,spent under the beech-wood,or on the Flat.Quiet winter evenings,all to ourselves--Maud and her mother working,Walter drawing.The father sitting with his back to the lamp--its light making a radiance over his brow and white bald crown,and as it thrilled through the curls behind,restoring somewhat of the youthful colour to his fading hair.
Nay,the old youthful ring of his voice I caught at times,when he found something funny in his book and read it out loud to us;or laying it down,sat talking as he liked to talk about things speculative,philosophical,or poetical--things which he had necessarily let slip in the hurry and press of his business life,in the burthen and heat of the day;but which now,as the cool shadows of evening were drawing on,assumed a beauty and a nearness,and were again caught up by him--precious as the dreams of his youth.
Happy,happy time--sunshiny summer,peaceful winter--we marked neither as they passed;but now we hold both--in a sacredness inexpressible--a foretaste of that Land where there is neither summer nor winter,neither days nor years.