第169章 CHAPTER XXXVII(4)
"How very strange!I thought he would come at once--to-night,probably."I reminded her that Lord Ravenel had left for Paris,bidding goodbye to Mr.Jessop.
"He ought to have come to us instead of to Mr.Jessop.Write and tell him so,father.Tell him how glad we shall be to see him.And perhaps you can help him:you who help everybody.He always said you were his best friend.""Did he?"
"Ah now,do write,father dear--I am sure you will."John looked down on the little maid who hung on his arm so persuasively,then looked sorrowfully away.
"My child--I cannot."
"What,not write to him?When he is poor and in trouble?That is not like you,father,"and Maud half-loosed her arm.
Her father quietly put the little rebellious hand back again to its place.He was evidently debating within himself whether he should tell her the whole truth,or how much of it.Not that the debate was new,for he must already have foreseen this possible,nay,certain,conjuncture.Especially as all his dealings with his family had hitherto been open as daylight.He held that to prevaricate,or wilfully to give the impression of a falsehood,is almost as mean as a direct lie.When anything occurred that he could not tell his children,he always said plainly,"I cannot tell you,"and they asked no more.
I wondered exceedingly how he would deal with Maud.
She walked with him,submissive yet not satisfied,glancing at him from time to time,waiting for him to speak.At last she could wait no longer.
"I am sure there is something wrong.You do not care for Lord Ravenel as much as you used to do.""More,if possible."
"Then write to him.Say,we want to see him--I want to see him.Ask him to come and stay a long while at Beechwood.""I cannot,Maud.It would be impossible for him to come.I do not think he is likely to visit Beechwood for some time.""How long?Six months?A year,perhaps?"
"It may be several years."
"Then,I was right.Something HAS happened;you are not friends with him any longer.And he is poor--in trouble--oh,father!"She snatched her hand away,and flashed upon him reproachful eyes.
John took her gently by the arm,and made her sit down upon the wall of a little stone bridge,under which the moat slipped with a quiet murmur.Maud's tears dropped into it fast and free.
That very outburst,brief and thundery as a child's passion,gave consolation both to her father and me.When it lessened,John spoke.
"Now has my little Maud ceased to be angry with her father?""I did not mean to be angry--only I was so startled--so grieved.
Tell me what has happened,please,father?"
"I will tell you--so far as I can.Lord Ravenel and myself had some conversation,of a very painful kind,the last night he was with us.
After it,we both considered it advisable he should not visit us again for the present.""Why not?Had you quarrelled?or if you had,I thought my father was always the first to forgive everybody.""No,Maud,we had not quarrelled."
"Then,what was it?"
"My child,you must not ask,for indeed I cannot tell you."Maud sprang up--the rebellious spirit flashing out again."Not tell me--me,his pet--me,that cared for him more than any of you did.Ithink you ought to tell me,father."
"You must allow me to decide that,if you please."After this answer Maud paused,and said humbly,"Does any one else know?""Your mother,and your uncle Phineas,who happened to be present at the time.No one else:and no one else shall know."John spoke with that slight quivering and blueness of the lips which any mental excitement usually produced in him.He sat down by his daughter's side and took her hand.
"I knew this would grieve you,and I kept it from you as long as Icould.Now you must only be patient,and like a good child trust your father."Something in his manner quieted her.She only sighed and said,"she could not understand it.""Neither can I--often times,my poor little Maud.There are so many sad things in life that we have to take upon trust,and bear,and be patient with--yet never understand.I suppose we shall some day."His eyes wandered upward to the wide-arched blue sky,which in its calm beauty makes us fancy that Paradise is there,even though we know that "THE KINGDOM OF HEAVEN IS WITHIN US,"and that the kingdom of spirits may be around us and about us everywhere.
Maud looked at her father,and crept closer to him--into his arms.
"I did not mean to be naughty.I will try not to mind losing him.
But I liked Lord Ravenel so much--and he was so fond of me.""Child"--and her father himself could not help smiling at the simplicity of her speech--"it is often easiest to lose those we are fond of and who are fond of us,because,in one sense,we never can really lose them.Nothing in this world,nor,I believe,in any other,can part those who truly and faithfully love."I think he was hardly aware how much he was implying,at least not in its relation to her,else he would not have said it.And he would surely have noticed,as I did,that the word "love,"which had not been mentioned before--it was "liking,""fond of,""care for,"or some such round-about,childish phrase--the word "love"made Maud start.She darted from one to the other of us a keen glance of inquiry,and then turned the colour of a July rose.
Her attitude,her blushes,the shy tremble about her mouth,reminded me vividly,too vividly,of her mother twenty-eight years ago.
Alarmed,I tried to hasten the end of our conversation,lest,voluntarily or involuntarily,it might produce the very results which,though they might not have altered John's determination,would almost have broken his heart.
So,begging her to "kiss and make friends,"which Maud did,timidly,and without attempting further questions,I hurried the father and daughter into the house;deferring for mature consideration,the question whether or not I should trouble John with any too-anxious doubts of mine concerning her.