第46章

Emil kicked a clod from the path and went on:--"I wonder whether you are really shallow-hearted, like you seem? Sometimes I think one boy does just as well as another for you. It never seems to make much difference whether it is me or Raoul Marcel or Jan Smirka. Are you really like that?""Perhaps I am. What do you want me to do? Sit round and cry all day? When I've cried until I can't cry any more, then--then Imust do something else."

"Are you sorry for me?" he persisted.

"No, I'm not. If I were big and free like you, I wouldn't let anything make me unhappy. As old Napoleon Brunot said at the fair, I wouldn't go lovering after no woman. I'd take the first train and go off and have all the fun there is.""I tried that, but it didn't do any good.

Everything reminded me. The nicer the place was, the more I wanted you." They had come to the stile and Emil pointed to it persuasively.

"Sit down a moment, I want to ask you some-thing." Marie sat down on the top step and Emil drew nearer. "Would you tell me some-thing that's none of my business if you thought it would help me out? Well, then, tell me, PLEASEtell me, why you ran away with Frank Sha-bata!"

Marie drew back. "Because I was in love with him," she said firmly.

"Really?" he asked incredulously.

"Yes, indeed. Very much in love with him.

I think I was the one who suggested our run-ning away. From the first it was more my fault than his."Emil turned away his face.

"And now," Marie went on, "I've got to remember that. Frank is just the same now as he was then, only then I would see him as Iwanted him to be. I would have my own way.

And now I pay for it."

"You don't do all the paying."

"That's it. When one makes a mistake, there's no telling where it will stop. But you can go away; you can leave all this behind you.""Not everything. I can't leave you behind.

Will you go away with me, Marie?"

Marie started up and stepped across the stile. "Emil! How wickedly you talk! I am not that kind of a girl, and you know it. But what am I going to do if you keep tormenting me like this!" she added plaintively.

"Marie, I won't bother you any more if you will tell me just one thing. Stop a minute and look at me. No, nobody can see us. Every-body's asleep. That was only a firefly. Marie, STOP and tell me!"Emil overtook her and catching her by the shoulders shook her gently, as if he were trying to awaken a sleepwalker.

Marie hid her face on his arm. "Don't ask me anything more. I don't know anything except how miserable I am. And I thought it would be all right when you came back. Oh, Emil," she clutched his sleeve and began to cry, "what am I to do if you don't go away? Ican't go, and one of us must. Can't you see?"Emil stood looking down at her, holding his shoulders stiff and stiffening the arm to which she clung. Her white dress looked gray in the darkness. She seemed like a troubled spirit, like some shadow out of the earth, clinging to him and entreating him to give her peace. Be-hind her the fireflies were weaving in and out over the wheat. He put his hand on her bent head. "On my honor, Marie, if you will say you love me, I will go away."She lifted her face to his. "How could I help it? Didn't you know?"Emil was the one who trembled, through all his frame. After he left Marie at her gate, he wandered about the fields all night, till morning put out the fireflies and the stars.