第11章
Listen to me, Wilfrid.You are beginning to know much; you have suffered much.Let me explain your thoughts to you.You wished to take my hand just now"; she rose to a sitting posture, and her graceful motions seemed to emit light."When a young girl allows her hand to be taken it is as though she made a promise, is it not? and ought she not to fulfil it? You well know that I cannot be yours.Two sentiments divide and inspire the love of all the women of the earth.Either they devote themselves to suffering, degraded, and criminal beings whom they desire to console, uplift, redeem; or they give themselves to superior men, sublime and strong, whom they adore and seek to comprehend, and by whom they are often annihilated.You have been degraded, though now you are purified by the fires of repentance, and to-day you are once more noble; but I know myself too feeble to be your equal, and too religious to bow before any power but that On High.I may refer thus to your life, my friend, for we are in the North, among the clouds, where all things are abstractions.""You stab me, Seraphita, when you speak like this.It wounds me to hear you apply the dreadful knowledge with which you strip from all things human the properties that time and space and form have given them, and consider them mathematically in the abstract, as geometry treats substances from which it extracts solidity.""Well, I will respect your wishes, Wilfrid.Let the subject drop.Tell me what you think of this bearskin rug which my poor David has spread out.""It is very handsome."
"Did you ever see me wear this 'doucha greka'?"She pointed to a pelisse made of cashmere and lined with the skin of the black fox,--the name she gave it signifying "warm to the soul.""Do you believe that any sovereign has a fur that can equal it?" she asked.
"It is worthy of her who wears it."
"And whom you think beautiful?"
"Human words do not apply to her.Heart to heart is the only language I can use.""Wilfrid, you are kind to soothe my griefs with such sweet words--which you have said to others."
"Farewell!"
"Stay.I love both you and Minna, believe me.To me you two are as one being.United thus you can be my brother or, if you will, my sister.
Marry her; let me see you both happy before I leave this world of trial and of pain.My God! the simplest of women obtain what they ask of a lover; they whisper 'Hush!' and he is silent; 'Die' and he dies;'Love me afar' and he stays at a distance, like courtiers before a king! All I desire is to see you happy, and you refuse me! Am I then powerless?--Wilfrid, listen, come nearer to me.Yes, I should grieve to see you marry Minna but--when I am here no longer, then--promise me to marry her; heaven destined you for each other.""I listen to you with fascination, Seraphita.Your words are incomprehensible, but they charm me.What is it you mean to say?""You are right; I forget to be foolish,--to be the poor creature whose weaknesses gratify you.I torment you, Wilfrid.You came to these Northern lands for rest, you, worn-out by the impetuous struggle of genius unrecognized, you, weary with the patient toils of science, you, who well-nigh dyed your hands in crime and wore the fetters of human justice--"Wilfrid dropped speechless on the carpet.Seraphita breathed softly on his forehead, and in a moment he fell asleep at her feet.
"Sleep! rest!" she said, rising.
She passed her hands over Wilfrid's brow; then the following sentences escaped her lips, one by one,--all different in tone and accent, but all melodious, full of a Goodness that seemed to emanate from her head in vaporous waves, like the gleams the goddess chastely lays upon Endymion sleeping.
"I cannot show myself such as I am to thee, dear Wilfrid,--to thee who art strong.
"The hour is come; the hour when the effulgent lights of the future cast their reflections backward on the soul; the hour when the soul awakes into freedom.
"Now am I permitted to tell thee how I love thee.Dost thou not see the nature of my love, a love without self-interest; a sentiment full of thee, thee only; a love which follows thee into the future to light that future for thee--for it is the one True Light.Canst thou now conceive with what ardor I would have thee leave this life which weighs thee down, and behold thee nearer than thou art to that world where Love is never-failing? Can it be aught but suffering to love for one life only? Hast thou not felt a thirst for the eternal love? Dost thou not feel the bliss to which a creature rises when, with twin-soul, it loves the Being who betrays not love, Him before whom we kneel in adoration?
"Would I had wings to cover thee, Wilfrid; power to give thee strength to enter now into that world where all the purest joys of purest earthly attachments are but shadows in the Light that shines, unceasing, to illumine and rejoice all hearts.
"Forgive a friendly soul for showing thee the picture of thy sins, in the charitable hope of soothing the sharp pangs of thy remorse.Listen to the pardoning choir; refresh thy soul in the dawn now rising for thee beyond the night of death.Yes, thy life, thy true life is there!
"May my words now reach thee clothed in the glorious forms of dreams;may they deck themselves with images glowing and radiant as they hover round you.Rise, rise, to the height where men can see themselves distinctly, pressed together though they be like grains of sand upon a sea-shore.Humanity rolls out like a many-colored ribbon.See the diverse shades of that flower of the celestial gardens.Behold the beings who lack intelligence, those who begin to receive it, those who have passed through trials, those who love, those who follow wisdom and aspire to the regions of Light!