第60章 ZENOBIA'S DRAWING-ROOM(3)

"I scarcely feel," I could not forbear saying, "as if we had ever met before.How many years ago it seems since we last sat beneath Eliot's pulpit, with Hollingsworth extended on the fallen leaves, and Priscilla at his feet! Can it be, Zenobia, that you ever really numbered yourself with our little band of earnest, thoughtful, philanthropic laborers?""Those ideas have their time and place," she answered coldly."But Ifancy it must be a very circumscribed mind that can find room for no other."Her manner bewildered me.Literally, moreover, I was dazzled by the brilliancy of the room.A chandelier hung down in the centre, glowing with I know not how many lights; there were separate lamps, also, on two or three tables, and on marble brackets, adding their white radiance to that of the chandelier.The furniture was exceedingly rich.Fresh from our old farmhouse, with its homely board and benches in the dining-room, and a few wicker chairs in the best parlor, it struck me that here was the fulfilment of every fantasy of an imagination revelling in various methods of costly self-indulgence and splendid ease.Pictures, marbles, vases,--in brief, more shapes of luxury than there could be any object in enumerating, except for an auctioneer's advertisement,--and the whole repeated and doubled by the reflection of a great mirror, which showed me Zenobia's proud figure, likewise, and my own.It cost me, I acknowledge, a bitter sense of shame, to perceive in myself a positive effort to bear up against the effect which Zenobia sought to impose on me.I reasoned against her, in my secret mind, and strove so to keep my footing.In the gorgeousness with which she had surrounded herself,--in the redundance of personal ornament, which the largeness of her physical nature and the rich type of her beauty caused to seem so suitable,--I malevolently beheld the true character of the woman, passionate, luxurious, lacking simplicity, not deeply refined, incapable of pure and perfect taste.But, the next instant, she was too powerful for all my opposing struggles.Isaw how fit it was that she should make herself as gorgeous as she pleased, and should do a thousand things that would have been ridiculous in the poor, thin, weakly characters of other women.To this day, however, I hardly know whether I then beheld Zenobia in her truest attitude, or whether that were the truer one in which she had presented herself at Blithedale.In both, there was something like the illusion which a great actress flings around her.

"Have you given up Blithedale forever?" I inquired.

"Why should you think so?" asked she.

"I cannot tell," answered I; "except that it appears all like a dream that we were ever there together.""It is not so to me," said Zenobia."I should think it a poor and meagre nature that is capable of but one set of forms, and must convert all the past into a dream merely because the present happens to be unlike it.

Why should we be content with our homely life of a few months past, to the exclusion of all other modes? It was good; but there are other lives as good, or better.Not, you will understand, that I condemn those who give themselves up to it more entirely than I, for myself, should deem it wise to do."It irritated me, this self-complacent, condescending, qualified approval and criticism of a system to which many individuals--perhaps as highly endowed as our gorgeous Zenobia--had contributed their all of earthly endeavor, and their loftiest aspirations.I determined to make proof if there were any spell that would exorcise her out of the part which she seemed to be acting.She should be compelled to give me a glimpse of something true; some nature, some passion, no matter whether right or wrong, provided it were real.

"Your allusion to that class of circumscribed characters who can live only in one mode of life," remarked I coolly, "reminds me of our poor friend Hollingsworth.Possibly he was in your thoughts when you spoke thus.Poor fellow! It is a pity that, by the fault of a narrow education, he should have so completely immolated himself to that one idea of his, especially as the slightest modicum of commonsense would teach him its utter impracticability.Now that I have returned into the world, and can look at his project from a distance, it requires quite all my real regard for this respectable and well-intentioned man to prevent me laughing at him,--as I find society at large does."Zenobia's eyes darted lightning, her cheeks flushed, the vividness of her expression was like the effect of a powerful light flaming up suddenly within her.My experiment had fully succeeded.She had shown me the true flesh and blood of her heart, by thus involuntarily resenting my slight, pitying, half-kind, half-scornful mention of the man who was all in all with her.She herself probably felt this; for it was hardly a moment before she tranquillized her uneven breath, and seemed as proud and self-possessed as ever.

"I rather imagine," said she quietly, "that your appreciation falls short of Mr.Hollingsworth's just claims.Blind enthusiasm, absorption in one idea, I grant, is generally ridiculous, and must be fatal to the respectability of an ordinary man; it requires a very high and powerful character to make it otherwise.But a great man--as, perhaps, you do not know--attains his normal condition only through the inspiration of one great idea.As a friend of Mr.Hollingsworth, and, at the same time, a calm observer, I must tell you that he seems to me such a man.But you are very pardonable for fancying him ridiculous.Doubtless, he is so --to you! There can be no truer test of the noble and heroic, in any individual, than the degree in which he possesses the faculty of distinguishing heroism from absurdity."I dared make no retort to Zenobia's concluding apothegm.In truth, Iadmired her fidelity.It gave me a new sense of Hollingsworth's native power, to discover that his influence was no less potent with this beautiful woman here, in the midst of artificial life, than it had been at the foot of the gray rock, and among the wild birch-trees of the wood-path, when she so passionately pressed his hand against her heart.

The great, rude, shaggy, swarthy man! And Zenobia loved him!

"Did you bring Priscilla with you?" I resumed."Do you know I have sometimes fancied it not quite safe, considering the susceptibility of her temperament, that she should be so constantly within the sphere of a man like Hollingsworth.Such tender and delicate natures, among your sex, have often, I believe, a very adequate appreciation of the heroic element in men.But then, again, I should suppose them as likely as any other women to make a reciprocal impression.Hollingsworth could hardly give his affections to a person capable of taking an independent stand, but only to one whom he might absorb into himself.He has certainly shown great tenderness for Priscilla."Zenobia had turned aside.But I caught the reflection of her face in the mirror, and saw that it was very pale,--as pale, in her rich attire, as if a shroud were round her.

"Priscilla is here," said she, her voice a little lower than usual.

"Have not you learnt as much from your chamber window? Would you like to see her?"She made a step or two into the back drawing-room, and called, --"Priscilla! Dear Priscilla!"