第47章 A CRISIS(1)

Thus the summer was passing away,--a summer of toil, of interest, of something that was not pleasure, but which went deep into my heart, and there became a rich experience.I found myself looking forward to years, if not to a lifetime, to be spent on the same system.The Community were now beginning to form their permanent plans.One of our purposes was to erect a Phalanstery (as I think we called it, after Fourier; but the phraseology of those days is not very fresh in my remembrance), where the great and general family should have its abidingplace.Individual members, too, who made it a point of religion to preserve the sanctity of an exclusive home, were selecting sites for their cottages, by the woodside, or on the breezy swells, or in the sheltered nook of some little valley, according as their taste might lean towards snugness or the picturesque.Altogether, by projecting our minds outward, we had imparted a show of novelty to existence, and contemplated it as hopefully as if the soil beneath our feet had not been fathom-deep with the dust of deluded generations, on every one of which, as on ourselves, the world had imposed itself as a hitherto unwedded bride.

Hollingsworth and myself had often discussed these prospects.It was easy to perceive, however, that he spoke with little or no fervor, but either as questioning the fulfilment of our anticipations, or, at any rate, with a quiet consciousness that it was no personal concern of his.

Shortly after the scene at Eliot's pulpit, while he and I were repairing an old stone fence, I amused myself with sallying forward into the future time.

"When we come to be old men," I said, "they will call us uncles, or fathers,--Father Hollingsworth and Uncle Coverdale,--and we will look back cheerfully to these early days, and make a romantic story for the young People (and if a little more romantic than truth may warrant, it will be no harm) out of our severe trials and hardships.In a century or two, we shall, every one of us, be mythical personages, or exceedingly picturesque and poetical ones, at all events.They will have a great public hall, in which your portrait, and mine, and twenty other faces that are living now, shall be hung up; and as for me, I will be painted in my shirtsleeves, and with the sleeves rolled up, to show my muscular development.What stories will be rife among them about our mighty strength!" continued I, lifting a big stone and putting it into its place, "though our posterity will really be far stronger than ourselves, after several generations of a simple, natural, and active life.What legends of Zenobia's beauty, and Priscilla's slender and shadowy grace, and those mysterious qualities which make her seem diaphanous with spiritual light!

In due course of ages, we must all figure heroically in an epic poem;and we will ourselves--at least, I will--bend unseen over the future poet, and lend him inspiration while he writes it.""You seem," said Hollingsworth, "to be trying how much nonsense you can pour out in a breath.""I wish you would see fit to comprehend," retorted I, "that the profoundest wisdom must be mingled with nine tenths of nonsense, else it is not worth the breath that utters it.But I do long for the cottages to be built, that the creeping plants may begin to run over them, and the moss to gather on the walls, and the trees--which we will set out--to cover them with a breadth of shadow.This spick-and-span novelty does not quite suit my taste.It is time, too, for children to be born among us.The first-born child is still to come.And I shall never feel as if this were a real, practical, as well as poetical system of human life, until somebody has sanctified it by death.""A pretty occasion for martyrdom, truly!" said Hollingsworth.

"As good as any other," I replied."I wonder, Hollingsworth, who, of all these strong men, and fair women and maidens, is doomed the first to die.

Would it not be well, even before we have absolute need of it, to fix upon a spot for a cemetery? Let us choose the rudest, roughest, most uncultivable spot, for Death's garden ground; and Death shall teach us to beautify it, grave by grave.By our sweet, calm way of dying, and the airy elegance out of which we will shape our funeral rites, and the cheerful allegories which we will model into tombstones, the final scene shall lose its terrors; so that hereafter it may be happiness to live, and bliss to die.None of us must die young.Yet, should Providence ordain it so, the event shall not be sorrowful, but affect us with a tender, delicious, only half-melancholy, and almost smiling pathos!""That is to say," muttered Hollingsworth, "you will die like a heathen, as you certainly live like one.But, listen to me, Coverdale.Your fantastic anticipations make me discern all the more forcibly what a wretched, unsubstantial scheme is this, on which we have wasted a precious summer of our lives.Do you seriously imagine that any such realities as you, and many others here, have dreamed of, will ever be brought to pass?""Certainly I do," said I."Of course, when the reality comes, it will wear the every-day, commonplace, dusty, and rather homely garb that reality always does put on.But, setting aside the ideal charm, I hold that our highest anticipations have a solid footing on commonsense.""You only half believe what you say," rejoined Hollingsworth; "and as for me, I neither have faith in your dream, nor would care the value of this pebble for its realization, were that possible.And what more do you want of it? It has given you a theme for poetry.Let that content you.

But now I ask you to be, at last, a man of sobriety and earnestness, and aid me in an enterprise which is worth all our strength, and the strength of a thousand mightier than we."There can be no need of giving in detail the conversation that ensued.