第88章

I AM indebted to my dear parents (both now in heaven)for having had habits of order and regularity instilled into me at a very early age.

In that happy bygone time, I was taught to keep my hair tidy at all hours of the day and night, and to fold up every article of my clothing carefully, in the same order, on the same chair, in the same place at the foot of the bed, before retiring to rest.An entry of the day's events in my little diary invariably preceded the folding up.The `Evening Hymn'

(repeated in bed) invariably followed the folding up.And the sweet sleep of childhood invariably followed the `Evening Hymn.'

In later life (alas!) the Hymn has been succeeded by sad and bitter meditations; and the sweet sleep has been but ill exchanged for the broken slumbers which haunt the uneasy pillow of care.On the other hand, I have continued to fold my clothes, and to keep my little diary.The former habit links me to my happy childhood--before papa was ruined.The latter habit--hiterto mainly useful in helping me to discipline the fallen nature which we all inherit from Adam--has unexpectedly proved important to my humble interests in quite another way.It has enabled poor Me to serve the caprice of a wealthy member of the family into which my late uncle married.I am fortunate enough to be useful to Mr.Franklin Blake.

I have been cut off from all news of my relatives by marriage for some time past.When we are isolated and poor, we are not infrequently forgotten.

I am now living, for economy's sake, in a little town in Brittany, inhabited by a select circle of serious English friends, and possessed of the inestimable advantages of a Protestant clergyman and a cheap market.

In this retirement--a Patmos amid the howling ocean of popery that surrounds us--a letter from England has reached me at last.I find my insignificant existence suddenly remembered by Mr.Franklin Blake.My wealthy relative--would that I could add my spiritually wealthy relative!--writes, without even an attempt at disguising that he wants something of me.The whim has seized him to stir up the deplorable scandal of the Moonstone: and I am to help him by writing the account of what I myself witnessed while visiting at Aunt Verinder's house in London.Pecuniary remuneration is offered me--with the want of feeling peculiar to the rich.I am to re-open wounds that Time has barely closed; I am to recall the most intensely painful remembrances--and this done, I am to feel myself compensated by a new laceration, in the shape of Mr.Blake's cheque.My nature is weak.It cost me a hard struggle, before Christian humility conquered sinful pride, and self-denial accepted the cheque.

Without my diary, I doubt--pray let me express it in the grossest terms!--if I could have honestly earned my money.With my diary, the poor labourer (who forgives Mr.Blake for insulting her) is worthy of her hire.Nothing escaped me at the time I was visiting dear Aunt Verinder.Everything was entered (thanks to my early training) day by day as it happened; and everything, down to the smallest particular, shall be told here.My sacred regard for truth is (thank God) far above my respect for persons.It will be easy for Mr.Blake to suppress what may not prove to be sufficiently flattering in these pages to the person chiefly concerned in them.He has purchased my time; but not even his wealth can purchase my conscience too.1My diary informs me, that I was accidentally passing Aunt Verinder's house in Montagu Square, on Monday, 3rd July, 1848.

Seeing the shutters opened, and the blinds drawn up, I felt that 1 N OTE.Added by Franklin Blake.--Miss Clack may make her mind quite easy on this point.Nothing will be added, altered, or removed, in her manuscript, or in any of the other manuscripts which pass through my hands.Whatever opinions any of the writers may express, whatever peculiarities of treatment may mark, and perhaps in a literary sense, disfigure, the narratives which I am now collecting, not a line will be tampered with anywhere, from first to last.As genuine documents they are sent to me--and as genuine documents I shall preserve them; endorsed by the attestations of witnesses who can speak to the facts.It only remains to be added, that `the person chiefly concerned' in Miss Clack's narrative, is happy enough at the present moment, not only to brave the smartest exercise of Miss Clack's pen, but even to recognize its unquestionable value as an instrument for the exhibition of Miss Clack's character.it would be an act of polite attention to knock, and make inquiries.The person who answered the door, informed me that my aunt and her daughter (I really cannot call her my cousin!) had arrived from the country a week since, and meditated making some stay in London.

I sent up a message at once, declining to disturb them, and only begging to know whether I could be of any use.

The person who answered the door, took my message in insolent silence, and left me standing in the hall.She is the daughter of a heathen old man named Betteredge--long, too long, tolerated in my aunt's family.Isat down in the hall to wait for my answer--and, having always a few tracts in my bag, I selected one which proved to be quite providentially applicable to the person who answered the door.The hall was dirty, and the chair was hard; but the blessed consciousness of returning good for evil raised me quite above any trifling considerations of that kind.The tract was one of a series addressed to young women on the sinfulness of dress.In style it was devoutly familiar.Its title was, `A Word With You On Your Cap-Ribbons.'

`My lady is much obliged, and begs you will come and lunch tomorrow at two.'

I passed over the manner in which she gave her message, and the dreadful boldness of her look.I thanked this young castaway; and I said, in a tone of Christian interest, `Will you favour me by accepting a tract?'