第14章

ALTHOUGH Julia spent most of her time with her aunt and cousin, opportunities for meditation were not wanting: in the retirement of her closet she perused and re-perused the frequent letters of her friend.The modesty of Julia, or rather shame, would have prevented her from making Anna acquainted with all her feelings, but it would have been treason to her friendship not to have poured out a little of her soul at the feet of Miss Miller.Accordingly, in her letters, Julia did not avoid the name of Antonio.She mentioned it often, but with womanly delicacy, if not with discretion.The seeds of constant association had, unknown to herself, taken deep root, and it was not in the power of Anna Miller to eradicate impressions which had been fastened by the example of the aunt, and cherished by the society of her cousin.Although deluded, weak, and even indiscreet, Julia was not indelicate.Yet enough escaped her to have given any experienced eye an insight into the condition of her mind, had Anna chosen to have exposed her letters to any one.The danger of such a correspondence should alone deter any prudent female from its indulgence.Society has branded the man with scorn who dares abuse the confidence of a woman in this manner; and the dread of the indignation of his associates makes it an offence which is rarely committed by the other sex: but there is no such obligation imposed on women, and that frequently passes for a joke which harrows every feeling that is dear to the female breast, and violates all that is delicate and sensitive in our nature.Surely, where it is necessary from any adventitious circumstances to lay the heart open in this manner, it should only be done to those whose characters are connected with our own, and who feel ridicule inflicted on us, as disgrace heaped on themselves.A peculiar evil of these confidential friendships is, that they are most liable to occur, when, from their youth, their victims are the least guarded; and, at the same time, from inconstancy, the most liable to change.Happily, however, for Julia's peace of mind, she foresaw no such dangers from her intimacy with Anna, and letter and answer passed between them, at short intervals, during the remainder of the summer.We shall give but one more specimen of each, as they have strong resemblance to one another--weselect two that were written late in August."My own and beloved Julia,"Your letters are the only consolation that my anxious heart can know in the dreary solitude of this place.Oh! my friend, how would your tender heart bleed did you but know the least of my sufferings; but they are all requited by the delightful anticipations of Park-Place.I hope your dear aunt has not found it necessary to lay down her carriage in the change of the times: write me in your next about it.Antonio has been here again, and he solicited an audience with me in private--of course I granted it, for friendship hallows all that is done under its mantle.It was a moonlight night-- mild Luna shedding a balmy light on surrounding objects, and, if possible, rendering my heart more sensitive than ever.One solitary glimmering star showed by its paly quiverings the impress of evening, while not a cloud obscured the vast firmament of heaven.On such an evening Antonio could do nothing but converse of my absent friend; he dwelt on the indescribable grace of your person, the lustre of your eye, and the vermilion of your lips, until exhausted language could furnish no more epithets of rapture: then the transition to your mind was natural and easy; and it was while listening to his honied accents that I thought my Julia herself was talking.

"Soft as the dews from heaven descend, his gentle accents fell."Ah, Julia! nothing but a strong pre-possession, and my friendship for you, could remove the danger of such a scene.Yes! friend of my heart, I must acknowledge my weakness.There is a youth in New-York, who has long been master of my too sensitive heart, and without him life will be a burthen.Cruel fate divides us now, but when invited by your aunt to Park- Place, Oh, rapture unutterable! I shall be near my Regulus.This, surely, is all that can be wanting to stimulate my Julia to get the invitation from her aunt.Antonio says that if I go to the city this fall, he will hover near me on the road to guard the friend of Julia; and that he will eagerly avail himself of my presence to seek her society.I am called from my delightful occupation by one of my troublesome sisters, who wishes me to assist her in some trifle or other.Make my most profound respects to your dear, good aunt, and believe me your own true friend,ANNA."

{Regulus = prince}

At length Julia thought she had made the discovery of Anna's reason for her evident desire to spend the winter in town--like herself, her friend had become the victim of the soft passion, and from that moment Julia determined that Katherine Emmerson must seek another residence, in order that Anna might breathe love's atmosphere.How much a desire to see Antonio governed this decision, we cannot say, but we are certain that, if in the least, Julia was herself ignorant of the power.With her, it seemed to be the result of pure, disinterested, and confiding friendship.In answer, our heroine wrote as follows:

"My beloved Anna,

"Your kind, consolatory letters are certainly the solace of my life.Ah! Anna, I have long thought that some important secret lay heavy at your heart.The incoherency of your letters, and certain things too trifling to mention, had made me suspect that some unusual calamity had befallen you.You do not mention who Regulus is.I am burning with curiosity to know, although I doubt not but he is every way worthy of your choice.