第4章 极品醉爱(4)

“太好啦！不过咱俩挂电话之前，还有点儿事儿……”

“什么事儿啊？”

“这个听起来可能有点儿多，不过我已经查过你的账户了……我今早在房产代理处看到我们去年看中的那套房子正在拍卖！你还记得吧？就是那栋在滨海地区的，有游泳池，英式花园，停车场的那个……”

“他们要价多少啊？”

“只要50万美元……多好的价钱啊，我看咱们银行里的钱也很充裕呢。”

“好吧，那就买了吧，不过一定要还价到42万美元，怎么样？”

“嗯，亲爱的……谢谢你！待会见啦！！我爱你！！！”

“拜拜，我也是……”

那个男人挂了电话，合上手机，对所有在场的人说：“有谁知道这个手机是谁的吗？”

24 I Am Not Able to Take Care of Three Wives

One day，while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a tree above a river，his axe fell into the river.When he cried out，the Lord appeared and asked，"Why are you crying？"

The woodcutter replied that his axe had fallen into water，and he needed the axe to make his living.

The Lord went down into the water and reappeared with a golden axe.

"Is this your axe？"the Lord asked.

The woodcutter replied，"No."

The Lord again went down and came up with a silver axe."Is this your axe？"the lord asked.

Again，the woodcutter replied，"No."

The Lord went down again and came up with an iron axe.

"Is this your axe？"the Lord asked.

The woodcutter replied，"Yes."

The Lord was pleased with the man’s honesty and gave him all three axes to keep，and the woodcutter went home happy.

Some time later the woodcutter was walking with his wife along the riverbank，and his wife fell into the river.

When he cried out，the Lord again appeared and asked him，"Why are you crying？"

"Oh Lord，my wife has fallen into the water！"

The Lord went down into the water and came up with Martha.

"Is this your wife？"the Lord asked.

"Yes."cried the woodcutter.

The Lord was furious，"You lied！That is an untruth！"

The woodcutter replied，"Oh，forgive me，my Lord.It is a misunderstanding.You see，if I had said‘no’to Martha，you would have come up with Polly.Then if I said‘no’to her，you would have come up with my wife.Had I then said‘yes，’you would have given me all three.Lord，I am a poor man，and am not able to take care of three wives，so that’s why I said yes to Martha."

三个老婆

一天，一位樵夫在岸边砍柴，斧头掉到水里了，他大哭了起来。这时候上帝出现了，问他：“你为什么哭啊？”

樵夫说他的斧头掉水里了，可他要靠斧头维持生计。

上帝潜到水里，拿着一把金斧头露出水面。

“这是你的吗？”上帝问道。

樵夫回答说：“不是。”

上帝又潜到水里，拿出一把银斧头：“这是你的吗？”上帝问道。

樵夫又回答说：“不是。”

上帝又潜到水底，拿出一把铁斧头。

“这是你的吗？”上帝问道。

樵夫回答道：“是的。”

上帝对樵夫的诚实感到很满意，于是把三把斧头都给了他，樵夫高兴地回家了。

过了一段时间，樵夫和妻子在河边散步，他的妻子一下掉进了河里。

正在他大哭的时候，上帝又出现了，问他：“你为什么哭啊？”

“啊，上帝，我老婆掉进水里了！”

上帝潜到水底，带出了玛莎。

“这是你的妻子吗？”上帝问道。

“是的。”樵夫大叫道。

上帝很生气：“你撒谎，这不是事实。”

樵夫回答道：“哦，宽恕我吧上帝，这是个误会。如果我说不是，你又会带出波莉；如果我再说不是，你才会捞出我的妻子；如果那时我再说是，你会把三个都给我。我的上帝，我是个穷人，养不起三个老婆，所以我才承认玛莎是我老婆。”

25 Husbands Said

1.My wife and I are both happy for twenty something years，then we met.

2.A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong.

3.I haven’t spoken to my wife for months.I don’t like to interrupt her.

4.I married Miss"Right".I just didn’t know her first name was"always".

5.It’s not true that married men live longer than single men.It only seems longer.

6.Married men live longer than single men，but married men are a lot more willing to die.

7.Losing a wife can be hard.In my case，it was nearly impossible.

8.Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street bald and still think they are beautiful.

9.Before marriage，a man yearns for the woman he loves.After marriage，the"y"becomes silent.

10.A husband said to his wife，"No，I don’t hate your relatives.In fact，I like your mother‐in‐law better than mine."

11.Man is incomplete until he is married.Then he’s finished.

12.I never knew what real happiness was until I got married，and then it was too late.