第6章 A Lonely Boat 恰似一叶孤舟(5)

I think that a successful old age is easiest for those who have strong impersonal interests involving appropriate activities.It is in this sphere that long experience is really fruitful，and it is in this sphere that the wisdom born of experience can be exercised without being oppressive.It is no use telling grown-up children not to make mistakes，both because they will not believe you，and because mistakes are an essential part of education.But if you are one of those who are incapable of impersonal interests，you may find that your life will be empty unless you concern yourself with your children and grandchildren.In that case you must realize that while you can still render them material services，such as making them an allowance or knitting them jumpers，you must not expect that they will enjoy your company.

Some old people are oppressed by the fear of death.In the young there is a justification for this feeling.Young men who have reason to fear that they will be killed in battle may justifiably feel bitter in the thought that they have been cheated of the best things that life has to offer.But in an old man who has known human joys and sorrows，and has achieved whatever work it was in him to do，the fear of death is somewhat abject and ignoble.

The best way to overcome it—so at least it seems to me—is to make your interests gradually wider and more impersonal，until bit by bit the universal life.An individual human existence should be like a river，small at first，narrowly contained within its banks，and rushing passionately past rocks and over waterfalls.Gradually the river grows wider，the banks recede，the waters flow more quietly，and in the end，without any visiblebreak，they become merged in the sea，and painlessly lose their individual being.The man who，in old age，can see his life in this way，will not suffer from the fear of death，since the things he cares for will continue.And if，with the decay of vitality，weariness increases，the thought of rest will not be unwelcome.I should wish to die while still at work，knowing that others will carry on what I can no longer do and content in the thought that what was possible has been done.

很多人害怕变老，因为害怕还没有达到自己的理想就死去。当你尝遍人生酸甜苦辣，实现一生抱负，你就会坦然的面对死亡。所以不要浪费眼前的时光，不要让自己害怕老去。

参考翻译（单窈敏）

人到晚年一定要杜绝这样两种危险的心理倾向。一种就是无法从回忆中抽身。活在过去，为逝去的美好时光懊悔，或为死去的朋友伤感，这些都于事无补。一个人应该关注未来，关注需要做的事情。这并不总是那么容易做到。因为一个人的过去是不断加重的。人们轻易地认为过去的自己情感更丰富生动，思维更敏捷锐利。如果这是事实，你应该将过去忘掉；如果记不得，那这些根本不是真的。

另一种就是不要奢望从年轻人身上汲取活力。当你的孩子长大时，他们就想过自己的生活，如果你继续像他们小时候那样照顾他们，你就会成为他们的负担，除非他们是异常迟钝的人。我不是说不应该关心孩子，而是要理性的关怀，博爱宽容，但不要感情用事。动物中幼仔一旦能够独立生存父母就不再过问了；可是人类由于幼年时期过长，就很难做到这点。我想那些对某些有益活动有浓厚兴趣的人，老年时期往往会平和的度过。因为长年积累的经验已酿成智慧的果实，这种经验积累的智慧可以帮助更好的解决问题，而这种兴趣会分散注意力，让你在儿女面前不会显得那么咄咄逼人。让已成年的孩子不犯错根本不管用，因为他们不相信你，而且犯错误本身也是受教育中必不可少的部分。若是你自己没什么个人喜好，要想晚年不至于空虚无聊，就只能一心放在儿孙身上了。假使如此，有一点你一定要明白：虽然你还能给予他们物质上的帮助，诸如给孩子们些零用钱或织几件毛衣，但你千万不要指望他们会喜欢和你在一起。

有些老人因惧怕死亡而烦恼。年轻人有这种恐惧还说得过去。那些害怕在战争中阵亡的年轻人，想到自己可能无法经历生命中的种种美好而感到苦涩、害怕，这无可厚非。但对于一个尝遍人生酸甜苦辣，实现一生抱负的老人来说，恐惧死亡岂不是又可怜又可鄙。战胜对死亡的恐惧，最好的方法就是逐步拓宽你的兴趣，超脱你自己的小框框，当你不再自我，你的生命就会开始慢慢与其他人融合，至少这对我来说是可行的。一个人应当像一条河流，开始时窄而浅，胁迫在两岸之间，猛烈地搏击岩石、跨越瀑布。慢慢地，河流越走越宽，两岸逐步退去，水流趋于平缓，直到最后，不知不觉地融入大海，虽然逝去却不会有丝毫痛苦。一个人若能在晚年如此面对人生，就不会惧怕死亡，因为他的兴趣仍在继续。这样一来，随着活力的衰退，疲劳的增加，死亡也就没什么可怕的了。我希望我可以工作到生命的最后一刻，并且知道有人会接手我无法继续的事业。这一生我能够完成了自己力所能及的一切，我已经心满意足了。

Redefine Yourself 重新定义你自己

Anonymous 佚名

How do you define yourself？As a mother，daughter，wife，friend，husband，son，teacher，student，lawyer，accountant，or any one of a myriad different titles？Or do you define yourself by others’perception of you？Do any of these come close to your own knowledge，your personal experience of whom you really are？

In your quiet moments，in times of inexplicable joy，have you had the overwhelming and yet clear and lucid feeling of total invincibility—a feeling that nothing can hold you down，that you CAN accomplish ANYTHING and EVERYTHING if you put your mind to it？Well，that feeling is not a random one.

What is it that gets in the way of your exquisite power？