第8章 爱是人类最美丽的语言 (2)
On one hand， the instant is easier and requires one bowl. No muss. No fuss. But too many times in my life I have taken the easy way. Oh yes， I have reached my goal in the process. But to what gain？ Instant stuff brings little satisfaction in life. A solid success that one hangs proudly on the wall is one that requires the same special attention as “cook and serve” pudding.
我在超市的过道上站了近十分钟，试图做出一个简单的决定：买哪种布丁。在我的生活中，任何标有“速食或速溶”说明的东西总会吸引我的注意。然而，我突然想起母亲烹制“即做即食”的巧克力布丁的场景。
我站在超市里，回想起自己孩提时等候在炉子旁，看着母亲慢慢地搅动布丁直到它呈现出奶油色如天鹅绒般柔软而醇厚的状态的那个情景。我看着她把做好的布丁倒进杯子里，然后会有一些粘在罐子的内壁，这诱惑我拿起用来搅拌的勺子刮出罐子里的每一点布丁，直到把它刮得干干净净，几乎不用再清洗。
制作这种美味的餐后甜点需要耐心和时间，而这两者正是我现今的生活所缺乏的。
一方面，速食食物更方便，只需要一只碗就好。不会弄得一团糟，也无需劳师动众。但是在生活中，我过多地选择了最便捷的方式。噢，是的，我在这个过程中达到了目的。然而，我获得了什么？速食的东西并不能给生活带来什么满足感。一份令人自豪的踏实的成就需要像烹制“即做即食”的布丁那样特别的用心。
True Love Always Prevails 真爱胜过一切
True love is that we stick together in “thick and thin”. Especially when it’s thin， when it’s troublesome. Then we should really bridge over the “troubled water”. That’s what they say in English. But most of us fail the test， to ourselves， not to our partners. He might leave you； he might stay with you， because you’re nice or not nice. But you fail yourself. You leave yourself. You leave the noblest being that you really are. So we should check up on this to our family members or whomever that is beloved and dear to us. Most of the time in critical situations， we just turn our backs and that is no good.
Of course we have our anger， our frustrations， because our partners are not as loving as usual， or whomever that is； but he or she is in a different situation. At that time， she or he is in mental suffering. It’s just as bad as or even worse than physical suffering. Physical suffering you can take a pill or you can have an injection and it stops or at least temporarily stops， and you feel the effect right away； or at least if people are in physical suffering， everyone sympathizes with them.
But when they are in mental anguish， and we pound them more on that， and we turn our backs and become cold and indifferent， that is even crueler， even worse. That person will be swimming alone in suffering. And especially they trust us as the next of kin， the next person， the one that they think they can rely on in times of need； and then at that time， we just turn around and are snobbish， because they didn’t treat us nice so we just want to revenge. That’s not the time. You can revenge later， when he’s in better shape. Just slap him.
Actually， at that time， the person is not his usual self anymore. He was probably under very great pressure that he lost his own control. It’s not really lost his own control， but for example， when you are in a hurry， your talk is different. Right？ “Hand me that coat！ Quick！ Quick！ Quick！” Things like that. But normally， you would say “Honey， please， can you give me that coat.” Is that not so？ Or when you’re in pain —for example stomach pain， heartache or whatever—you scream loudly； and anyone who comes to talk to you， you don't talk in the usual way anymore， because you’re in pain.
Similarly， when you are in a mental or psychological pain， you talk also in a very grouchy way， very cross. But that is understandable. So if we—any so-called loving partner or family member—do not understand even this very least， very basic concept， then we’re finished. Then we are really in a bad situation. It’s not that the partner will do anything to us. Whether he does anything to us later or not， that is no problem. The problem is us. The problem is we degrade ourselves， that we make less of a being of ourselves than we should be， than we are supposed to be， or that we really are. So do not make less of a being of yourselves.
真爱是不管情况好坏都在一起，特别是当情况不好、有麻烦的时候，更应该如俗话所说的“兵来将挡，水来土掩”，想办法克服困难。但是大部分人都不能通过这项考验而背离了自己，而不是背离了我们的伴侣。因为不论你好或不好，你的伴侣留下或是离开，是你自己通不过考验，背离了你自己，背弃了内在真正高贵的你，所以我们应该检查自己对家人或任何我们所钟爱的人的关系，通常在关键的时刻我们反而背弃他们，这样很不好。
当然我们也会觉得生气、挫折，因为我们的伴侣不再像以前一样可爱，不过这是因为他（她）正处在不同的状况，精神正受煎熬。精神痛苦和生理的痛苦一样难受，有时候甚至更糟。生理的痛苦可以用吃药或打针来制止，至少可以暂时止痛，可以马上见效；或者至少身体受苦时，大家都会同情她。
可是当有人处在心理的极度痛苦时，我们却落井下石，背弃他，变得冷漠不关心，这是更残忍、更糟糕的事，那个人就只能孤孤单单地在痛苦中挣扎。尤其他们信任我们是最亲密的人，认为在需要时可以信靠，可是我们却很势利转身离去，只是因为他们不再对我们好或是我们只是想要报复。这真不是时候！你可以等一下再报复，等他好一点时，打他一巴掌。
事实上，那时候那个人已经不再是平常的他，可能已因压力极大而失去控制；也不完全是失去控制，而是像当你很匆忙时，说话的语气自然会不一样，你会说：“拿外衣给我，快快快！”而在平常你则会说：“亲爱的，能不能请你拿那件外衣给我。”是不是这样？或当你在痛苦时，像是胃痛或头痛时你会大叫，人家来看你时你也无法像平常那样谈话，因为你正痛得不得了。
同样的，当你处在精神或心理的疼痛时，你的谈话自然会显得粗暴，但这是可以理解的。如果我们这些所谓的爱的伴侣或家人不知道这最起码、最基本的观念，我们就完了，我们会很糟糕。并非另一半会对我们怎样，无论对方以后有没有对我们怎样，那都不是问题，问题是在我们自己——我们贬低了自己，不配自己应有的身份，所以千万不要贬低自己。
Who Gave Me the Ears是谁给我的耳朵
“Can I see my baby？” the happy new mother asked.
When the bundle was nestled in her arms and she moved the fold of cloth to look upon his tiny face， she gasped. The doctor turned quickly and looked out the tall hospital window. The baby had been born without ears.
Time proved that the baby’s hearing was perfect. It was only his appearance that was marred. When he rushed home from school one day and flung himself into his mother’s arms， she sighed， knowing that his life was to be a succession of heartbreaks.
He blurted out the tragedy. “A boy， a big boy...called me a freak.”